Homecoming
by BuildMeUpButtercup-x
Summary: Coming home, back to that place was something he had avoided but now couldn't; he'd stayed away from this town, the people and her. AU. Buffy/Angel.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I dont own anything.**

**This is something I've had written for a while but I'm unsure of it, let me know any feedback, thanks.**

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><p>It was one of those days, the sun high in the sky beating down on everyone, the bardiner was jam-packed with the usual Thursday afternoon crowd. Buffy wiped the sweat off her forehead with the back of her hand and groaned with the stickiness in the air.

She forced a smile as she wiped up the drink that old man Jones had spilled, his eyes roamed over her in a sickening fashion, causing her to stiffen with unease "Would you like another drink?" he licked his lips and nodded, so she left before he could say anything to her.

"That's the third drink he's spilled since you started earlier…" Buffy looked over to her friend and raised her eyebrow, of course it was; he was intent on tormenting her every time she worked. Tara placed her hand on top of Buffy's and gave it a squeeze.

"I'll be fine… just get this drink over to him and I'll take my break" quickly and without saying anything she replaced the old perverts drink and hightailed it before he could find a way to have his hands roaming over her.

Buffy plopped down on the step of the backdoor of the diner, when she was in high school she dreamed of becoming an actress, Hollywood, Glamour, Parties, it was all she could think of; she tried it out and like many wannabe fame seekers, she ended up back in Sunny-_hell _working in this diner.

She had even tried to find a better job in this town but no one was willing to hire her, so for now she was stuck waiting on tables and being hit on by all sorts of men and even a few women.

After she graduated, she didn't bother with going to College – at the time she didn't see the point. College wasn't needed if she got her way and struck lucky in Hollywood. Since returning home, thoughts of enrolling, even in just a night class were becoming more appealing.

Buffy picked at the corner of her apron and sighed, the only way she could think of bettering her job prospects were to enrol and gain more experience. The problem was she didn't know what she wanted to do as a serious career.

Once her fifteen minutes were up she headed back inside to resume her duties, luckily her unwanted admirer had vacated his seat and was wobbling his way down the main street, presumably back home before returning that night to drink more.

Her boss motioned towards the table at the end of the row with new customers seated; she picked up her note pad and walked towards them. Her heart started to race as she neared, it had been five years since high school, his face still had the same intense beauty as it did back then.

His hair was still spiked high, his brows drawn down towards his eyes, not that he was fat in high school – but he was more defined, his shirt clung to his muscles in a way that would drive any red blooded female insane.

He looked up at her and for a second she could see the hurt and anger that he had held towards her all those years ago, she was a complete bitch to him back then, all for show of course. It would have been social suicide to admit that she liked him.

"Angel?" her voice came out shy and unsure, she took a deep breath "It's been a long time"

Angel forced a smile "Yeah, I guess it has…" his gaze burned through her, he had fixated and loved her for as long as he could remember, they had been sort of friends until they went to high school then she became part of the popular crowd and made his life hell.

He ran his eyes over her as she shuffled from foot to foot, her brilliant white teeth bit onto her bottom lip, clearly uncomfortable being under his scrutiny. Angel shuffled in his seat to get more comfortable and slanted his eyes at her.

It hit him that he was acting immature, holding onto hate from when he was a teenager, he let out a laugh, deciding he should be more friendly, guarded, but friendly "how have you been Buff?" she was beautiful back then, although he could see she was worn down, she was still breathtaking.

Buffy shifted from foot to foot again, looking down at the ground "I've been good… I'm sorry to hear about your grandma, she was a lovely woman" it saddened her that she had lost her fight with her illness; she made sure everyone was looked after.

Angels face turned stony, he felt guilty that he had moved away all those years ago, leaving his only guardian by herself; sure she had pushed him to leave, to make something of himself but he still felt bad about it "Uh, thanks"

Before she could ask what he wanted to eat or drink a small boy came bouncing past her and jumped in the booth across from Angel, her heart sunk as she looked at him, a sickly warmth spread over her, her stomach knotting up tight – bar his light eyes, he looked like a smaller version of his father.

"Hey buddy… say hi to Buffy" Angel kept his eyes on her, he saw the look she had across her face, despite wanting to rub it in her face that he had a family, he in fact felt bad. His son shied away from her and hid behind one of the menus on the table.

Buffy extended her hand to the boy, which after a pause, he hesitantly reached out to her "Hi, I'm Buffy, what's your name?" a lumped formed in her throat, he was the cutest thing. He shook her hand then giggled.

"His name is Connor" Angel ruffled his sons hair causing him to squeak then try to fix his hair back to the way it was, eerily similar to how Angel had done that whenever someone messed his hair when he was younger.

"Nice to meet you Connor… Uh, can I take your order?" she wanted to get their order in and leave, she was happy to see him again but the jealousy tore right through her. She noted down their food then left, only leaving enough time for him to say thanks to her.

When their food arrived it was another waitress that came by, Angel smiled "Hi Tara… how have you been?" she was another Sunnydale High Alum who hadn't changed since then. Tara hadn't been part of the popular crew but she wasn't his friend either.

"I'm well… uh" she looked around then back at him as he saw him scan the diner for his previous waitress, his face may have been stony but his eyes gave away everything "Her shift finished so she left… I-if you want I can give you her address, she's not working tomorrow, you can talk to her then?!"

He thought for a moment then shook his head, he didn't particularly want to speak to her in depth, Tara wrote down the address anyway then slid it across the table to him, he noted that it was in the part of town that wasn't as nice as where they had stayed as children.

Once they had finished their dinner he handed Tara the bill and a large tip for her then left. Although the sun had now set for the night, it was still clammy, Angel pulled at his shirt, wafting arid air down his chest and stomach; Connor looked at his father then copied him.

Angel laughed then enclosed his son's small hand with his as they crossed the road and made their way down to the hotel that he had paid for during their stay here. Connor got dressed for bed then giggled loudly as Angel blew raspberries on his tummy.

Connor squeaked in protest before curling up beside his dad as he was read a bedtime story. It wasn't long before he had fallen asleep; Angel tucked him in and kissed his hair. He sighed deeply, times like this were precious – something he didn't get to have regularly.

Angel climbed into his bed, placing his arm across his face. Seeing Buffy brought a mix of emotions to the surface, he had loved her and she had been a bitch, constantly hurting him yet during his time away he wanted to forget it all and call her.

Not that having his son was one of the happiest times of his life but Connors mother was a constant reminder of being near a selfish bitch who hadn't grown up. Her, he didn't like, not anymore. He looked over to his son one last time then fell asleep himself.

Oooooooooooooo

As soon as their dinner order was placed she high-tailed it out of there, she practically ran all the way to her little apartment and as soon as she closed the door over the tears fell. Buffy wiped harshly at her face, she didn't know why she was getting so upset.

She threw herself onto the sofa and sighed, if it wasn't for her perception of an inane _perfect_ life, being a cheerleader, being popular and being well loved then maybe she would have gotten over herself and allowed herself to ask him out; but that was a no-no.

All of her friends made fun of him because he wasn't athletic, he wasn't exactly a nerd but he was good at school, he had charm to him but wasn't strikingly handsome as some of the football or basketball players that now had beer bellies and little hair.

They had all made his life a living hell through taunts and beatings, not just his but a lot of peoples. She placed her head in her hands and took slow and steady breaths – she had an overwhelming urge to wretch.

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><p>Sunnydale High Senior Year *6 years ago*<p>

It was their first day of Senior Year; Buffy blew a bubble with her chewing gum then let it pop as she surveyed the rest of the students from her year, all chilling on the quad like she was. Over the summer some people had lost weight – some gained it, but when she noticed him, he had suddenly become dangerously beautiful.

She tapped Cordelia on the shoulder then pointed to Angel as he crossed over the lawn, Cordy watched him as he walked then shouted him over.

He hesitantly made his way towards him "Hi Angel, how was your summer… by the looks of it you've learned how to be even more of a dork" she laughed loudly as she evaluated his clothing.

Buffy saw the hurt in his eyes as it was obvious he thought that she was going to at least be civil to him, seeing as though it was their last year in high school. As Cordy turned to her and laughed, Buffy forced out a laugh then patted her friend on the shoulder.

"What a loser" she watched as his shoulders slumped then he continued the way he came. Over the summer she had realised how much of a superficial bitch she had become. She spent hardly any time with her school friends and got berated for how she acted by her cousins and their friends.

The smile fell from Buffy's face and was replaced with a frown as Cordelia turned in the other direction, her eyes continued to watch his retreating form. Cordy asked her a question to which she agreed too, without evening listening to what the request was.

Angel heard Cordelia call on him, he was surprised because she never spoke to anyone who was 'beneath' her, when he came closer and heard what she said it hurt him. He should have expected her to act like that but deep down he was hoping that she was beginning to grow up.

His eyes flitted to his golden haired love, his ex-sort-of-a-friend, he saw the look of annoyance on her face then how false her laugh had been. Maybe she was seeing through the A-crowd's crap? He noted however that she didn't defend him either.

Angel decided to walk away as quick as he could, so not to let them see the hurt on his face; he thought for a moment, why should he let it bother him? They were silly little girls, only one last year left of this misery before he could escape the Hellmouth for good.


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks for all the reviews, I appreciate them; keep em comin'**

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><p>*Senior Year*<strong><br>**

Buffy stumbled her way around the house, by all accounts she'd had too much to drink. Her head was swimming and her stomach bubbled with uncertainty. She pushed the door of the bathroom open then almost collapsed in front of the toilet.

It was month into senior year, like every year before; someone was throwing a party at their house. This year it was a new student who was hosting the party, Faith rolled into school with brazen force, claiming her spot in the 'A-crowd'.

Unlike the rest of the A-crowd she had invited pretty much their entire year; her house would be classified as a mansion, so they were not short of space.

"Buff, you're a mess!"

Her head turned so she could look over the porcelain of the toilet to glare at the intruder. Riley stood at the door looking at her with amused disgust, she was hoping to get things going with him tonight but now she couldn't think of doing anything other than being sick.

"Ri, help?" her voice came out shallow and slurred, what she wanted was to curl up in her bed with a sick bowl in front of her and him rubbing soothing circles on her back. The snort that came from him and the look she got she knew that he wasn't going to be helpful.

He shook his head then left the way he came; Buffy let out a groan then emptied the little contents of her stomach into the toilet. It didn't take long before she started sobbing, this was the worst state she had ever gotten herself into – she felt exceptionally ill.

.

The mass of drunken idiots at this party made him laugh; they all thought they were something special – now they just looked a riot. Angel was surprised with the invite but then again Faith had hinted that they'd meet up later in private and that was _not_ going to happen.

Cordelia and some of the jocks gave him a disapproving look then shouted cruel jibes at him, he forced down the feeling he was having and climbed the stairs, wanting to create distance between them and him.

So far he had tried a few of the bedrooms but there were many couples occupying these rooms, some only kissing, others, well – he didn't want to keep those images in his head. The sound of throwing up made him pause, he pushed open the door and his heart sunk.

Buffy looked terrible, her eyes were unfocussed and her hair was stuck to her damp forehead. From the way she had treated him before, he wanted to turn around and let her deal with the binge but something deep down made him enter the bathroom and close the door.

Angel ran his hand over her back to sooth her from sobbing, he felt her stiffen before relaxing. After a moment her sad green eyes fixated on his, there was no way he would leave her alone in that state "Shhh" his hand continued to draw circles on her back.

They sat in silence for half an hour, once Buffy felt ready to part ways with the porcelain she pushed herself up from her foetal position and grabbed onto the sink. He saw her sway and almost fall, his reaction was to grab her and hold her close.

Buffy brushed him off of her, feeling awkward with him being kind to her. She saw him shake his head then call a taxi from his cell phone. It didn't take much convincing, but the feel of his warm body dwarfing hers made her decision to let him take her home easy.

He held her tight as he manoeuvred them down the stairs, avoiding her friends and the fight that was starting in the hallway. He slid into the taxi and pulled her close, petting her hair as she sobbed quietly, luckily the journey to her house didn't take too long.

Buffy handed him her key, all she could do was bear her weight against his body as he kept her close. Her parents were away visiting family for the week, if her dad saw her like this then he would throw a shit fit.

Angel ushered her through the house and to the direction of her room to which she pointed, her room was filled with all the medals from cheerleading and with photos of her and those so called friends of hers. He bit down the elation of being in her room by the fact she was upset.

His hands shook as she asked him to help her change into her pyjamas; he made sure that she was facing away from him, so that he could hide how nervous he was. His hands skimmed down her tiny waist as he pulled down the top but he let her put her shorts on by herself.

Angel took a deep steadying breath then helped her over to her bed, she climbed onto it with a thud then pulled the covers up to her neck. She looked like a lost little girl, times like this broke him down, he wanted to hate her but he couldn't.

"Angel?" he was about to leave but stopped at her bedroom door, his heart pounding in his chest "Why are you being so kind?" he wasn't sure what to say in that moment, that he liked her? Or just that he was a nice guy? He didn't know.

He chewed on his lip as he turned around and made his way back over to the bed, he kissed the top of her head and tucked her hair behind her ear, taking the safe option "I wanted to make sure you were okay" he smiled down at her then left her to go back to his house.

Buffy closed her eyes to stifle a cry, none of her friends would be this kind to her, like Riley did, they would make fun of her then continue to party. Despite the fact that she had made fun of him, for all intents and purposes been a royal bitch, he was looking after her.

It made her heart clench at how she had treated him.

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><p>Angel pinched the bridge of his nose, he had spent all morning discussing the upcoming funeral of his grandma Kathy, it was becoming too much. He knew that she had some friends and carer's that could do it as they knew her better, but he wanted to make sure it was done properly.<p>

He stood up from the sofa and cracked his aching back; he could hear his son's laughter from outside making him smile. Connor was out back on the old ratty swing set being pushed by Willow. She had become a friend recently as she was Kathy's carer.

Willow smiled widely as she came closer "Oh He's such a cutie!" she looked back at the boy then back to Angel, they looked almost identical, he would be a proper heartbreaker like his father "I can watch over him, if you need to go out for a while, I don't mind"

Angel shook his head "I've got a lot of things to do, there is only two days left before the funeral…" he looked down to the ground for a moment then back to Willow, she had that look on her face, her resolve face "Okay… I'd like that"

Willow placed her hand on his forearm "I'll let people know the arrangements for you…" she had saw a list of people that had to be informed but it was missing one person "Have you let Buffy know?"

"And why would I do that?" he glared at her; she was the last person that he wanted to invite, not like she was a part of their life.

After a moment to let him cool down Willow folded her arms over her chest "because she has been a good friend to Kathy… she has spent a lot of time with her, especially last Christmas when I couldn't!" her eyebrow rose to emphasise her statement.

That was something he didn't expect, why would Buffy of all people want to help his family? He didn't know what to say, Willow gave his arm a squeeze with a smile.

He pulled out his wallet and took the torn piece of paper that had her address written on it and ran his thumb over the ink. He felt Willow's hand leave his arm and heard her speak to Connor, without another thought he left them alone.

Oooooooooooooo

Buffy had got up a couple of hours ago but decided to have a lazy Sunday, she lay on the sofa in her pyjamas, for some reason she gravitated towards the old yearbooks that were collecting dust in a box in her closet.

She flipped the pages thinking back on all the good times that she had. Being as 'popular' as she was, most of the pages were dedicated to them, most of the photos were from all the parties they attended and all the games they had cheered at.

Her thumb ran over Angel's picture, he wasn't smiling but the look on his face was one that, looking at it now, could bring her to her knees. His eyes smouldered and his sharp jaw looked kissable. Her head snapped towards the door when she heard the knock, her breath caught in her throat as she spied through the peep hole.

He looked like his yearbook photo, yet somehow more dangerously beautiful than back then. He smirked as his eyes roamed over her pyjamas adorned with little pigs, she blushed furiously which he thought was adorable "Hi"

Buffy bit her lip nervously "Hi Angel… w-what are you doing here?" she tipped her head to the side, she was going to kill Tara, of all of the times that he could show up, it would have to be when she looked like a slob.

"I came to talk" Angel entered her apartment and looked around; it was plainly decorated, only a ratty old sofa, some books and TV "Nice place" she shrugged lightly then headed towards her bedroom. A few moments later she came out wearing a thin strapped camisole and shorts.

He cleared his throat, she was still petite but her outfit accentuated her curves, she looked amazing "I uh… I wanted to say thank you, Willow told me that you had watched over my grandma last winter, Kathy never told me about it" he was shocked to find out that she had taken time off work, especially near Christmas.

Buffy rubbed her arm, she didn't do it to score points with him, Kathy was a lovely woman who treated her like she was one of her own, only in the past year or two though "It was nothing Angel" an uncomfortable silence fell between them; she looked around then cleared her throat as did he.

"… I wanted to let you know, the service is at 10am on Tuesday…" he pursed his lips together, he couldn't leave her without an invite, and she had been there when he wasn't.

Buffy ran her fingers through her hair "I'll be there" once again the air became awkward, she looked around her apartment trying to come up with something to say to him but he beat her to it.

"So… the yearbooks, feeling nostalgic?" he tipped his head towards the gaudy decorated books, they looked dusty like his – he didn't know why he kept them, high school wasn't something he wanted a constant reminder of – especially with loads of pictures of the A-crowd.

"Still speak to the old _gang_?" the venom in his tone didn't escape her attention, she knew how he felt about them, how he used to feel about her. She hoped that it was different now, well, he was speaking to her, so that must count for something.

"Not really… most of them are still around town, we lost contact after Graduation…" she left the conversation there, there was a reason why they had _lost_ contact but that was a story she'd rather not get into with him today.

Angel nodded, he picked up and answered his phone; Buffy could see his expression fill up with happiness which deep down caused the green monster of jealousy rear its ugly head again. She turned away to put the books away, trying not to eavesdrop on his conversation.

"Buff, I have to go… but I'll see you soon?" she didn't want to delude herself into thinking that he had some sort of feelings for her but she thought she saw a flicker of a hopeful expression in his dark chocolate eyes, it thrilled her.

She nodded slowly "Yeah, I'll see you soon" he paused by the door then tipped his head at her as he left. Buffy closed the door over softly and smiled to herself; maybe she could make amends for past actions and show him how much she cares for him.


	3. Chapter 3

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><p>A lump took residence in his throat from the moment he left the house that morning, he stood at the graveside holding Connors hand in his, surrounded by Kathy's neighbours and friends. The stories that were told made him smile but all he wanted was for her to be there, pinching his cheeks to make him feel embarrassed but loved.<p>

It had been a lovely service and a beautiful day, just like she would have loved. Many people came up to offer condolences before heading their separate way, he thanked them all politely but he wanted nothing more than to go home and be with his family.

Willow took Connors hand and walked with him back to the car to give Angel some quiet time. He watched them leave but immediately felt someone stand beside him; her eyes were red and puffy, she could barely look at him.

Angel laced his fingers with hers, he wasn't sure why he done this but he knew it felt good. Kathy had always said ever since he was a child that she wanted no tears shed on her funeral but wanted laughter and happiness, somehow holding Buffy's hand made him feel less upset.

Buffy shuffled closer to him and placed her head on his shoulder when he squeezed her hand and tugged it towards him. He hadn't said anything to her, just like she hadn't said anything to him; she closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

After a while Angel tugged her along as he walked back to the car "Do you want to come back… just to talk?" he looked at her from the corner of his eye, he didn't want his face to betray his true feelings. Instead of wanting to be alone like he thought he would, he wanted to spend time with her.

Buffy nodded "Yeah that would be nice" she let go of his hand and slid into the passenger seat of the car, she acknowledged Willow and Connor silently as Angel drove off in the direction of his childhood home.

Willow headed upstairs to the spare bedroom to read stories to a tired Connor, Angel put the kettle on to make him and Buffy some coffee. They stood in the kitchen as they drank their beverage; Buffy took a sip and sighed "I appreciate you inviting me…"

Angel downed the last of his coffee, he knew that she meant the funeral and not just the invitation back to the house "You were there for her when I wasn't" his voice became weak; he hadn't shed a tear since the day he got the dreaded call and was struggling now.

She ran her hand up his back and let her head rest against his chest when he enveloped her with his arm, in some ways she felt like a child compared to him, only because she was tiny against his muscular build "Angel, she didn't want to trouble you…"

His muscles tensed from her words, she looked up at his face seeing the composure gradually slip "Kathy knew you would drop everything in a second, she didn't want that" his eyes were cast towards the sky, trying to stop emotion overflowing.

Angel pulled away from her not wanting her to see this side of him, he choked back the tears and cleared his throat "Uh…" he looked back at her, not knowing where to take the conversation. It had been a long time since they had spoken to each other properly.

Willow came downstairs and smiled "Little guys out for the count, I'll see you later" she was pulled into a hug by Angel and he murmured his thanks to her. Buffy stood to the side feeling slightly jealous of the interaction, which she knew was wrong.

He paused once the red head made her way outside then nodded towards the living room so Buffy could follow him. They sat on the little sofa and got comfy; Angel loosened the buttons on his shirt "So… what have you been up to since graduation?" he wanted to talk about _anything_ to keep his mind busy.

Buffy chewed her bottom lip, graduation, if felt like so long ago but in the grand scheme of things it was just like a blink of the eye "After we graduated, I moved out to LA tried to become a movie star" she blushed at his amused gaze then shook her head.

"Like most people I was there, got a few local commercials and a few extra roles, 'girl in diner', 'girl on phone'…it never took off, I had this big idea that I would go out, become famous and have everyone know my name… guess you can see it didn't work out"

Buffy picked at the sleeve of her blouse, whenever she said her old dream out loud it made her sound ridiculous, she wasn't overly smart back in school but she could have achieved something a little more stable than wanting to become an actress.

"When I got back I found myself the job at the diner, eventually moved out from mom and dad's and that's been that… same shit, different day" she looked over to him to see him focussed on her, listening intently, it was nice to be appreciated.

Something a kin to sickness rose inside of her, she knew he had a kid but she was unsure if she wanted to hear of his perfect family "What about you? There is Connor… where's your wife?" she didn't dare look at him; she didn't want him to see the jealousy.

Angel leaned back on the sofa so his head rested upon the back of it "Not even 20 minutes after graduation I packed up and left… I didn't want to be here…" he shot a glance over at her; she knew it was because of them that he had left so quickly.

"I actually moved to Los Angeles as well, paid for a hotel room for a few nights, luckily found a job in an Accountancy firm and worked my way up… through the blood, sweat and tears I'm now one of the senior accountants in the firm"

That had been true, he busted his ass to work his way up, they put him through college to get a degree and now he raked in thousands, not that he liked to boast, he chuckled "I met Darla not long after I got there, we hit it off"

Buffy took a deep breath, she didn't know why it was affecting her so much, bile bubbled in her stomach, before she could say anything Angel continued "She's not my wife… the only good thing that came from us was Connor"

He could see the tightness in her jaw slacken "It happened fast, we thought we were in love, baby came, she changed… she wanted to party, not be a mom… eventually she cheated with anyone who showed her attention, she wanted a care free life"

Angel sunk into the sofa, his head not leaving the back, only rolled to the side to see her. He could tell from her all too perfect posture that she was holding something in; she barely looked at him, only from the corner of her eye.

"Once I told her it was over she took Connor, because we weren't married, she somehow got the courts to rule in her favour… I hardly ever see him, the only reason he is here is because she eventually found someone and got married, didn't want a kid to ruin her honeymoon"

The pain in his voice was evident, it took away the nausea but replaced it with anger, how dare someone use their child as a weapon; although she didn't actually know Darla, she knew that she would never like her. The love he has for his son was evident and it pained her to think he didn't get to see him often.

Buffy finally shifted herself so she was facing him; her hand cupped his jaw lightly "I'm sorry" he leaned into her hand as he closed his eyes. He covered his hand with hers then linked their fingers together lightly.

"You deserve to have him, you're a good father, Angel… you are a good guy, one of the best" It should be an innocent gesture, just holding hands; Angel could feel something between them and could see the longing in her eyes. Buffy leaned over and took his lips with hers.

Buffy closed her eyes as she placed a few soft kisses on his lips, it had been over 5 years; from what she remembered his lips and his taste were still the same. His tongue slid into her mouth and massaged hers gently; before it could grow deeper they heard Angel being called on.

Angel ran his thumb over her bottom lip "What is it buddy?" he tore his eyes away from Buffy's as he heard his son asking for some water, she sat back on the sofa to allow him to stand up. She watched as he stopped by the kitchen then went upstairs.

The angel and the devil on her shoulders were at a war with each other, should she continue what she started or should she leave it at that?! Buffy ran her hand over her head; she wasn't sure which one of them to listen to.


	4. Chapter 4

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><p>*Senior Year*<p>

That morning waking up felt like she was on deaths door, Buffy staggered out of bed and into the toilet to throw up again. Was it a hangover, was she still intoxicated? She struggled with the answer as her head pounded but the room swayed violently.

Once throwing up again she climbed into the shower and curled up into a ball, letting the warm water run over her body, cleansing her not only of daily grime but of the wretched afterbirth of too much alcohol.

It took a good hour before she felt well enough to get ready for the day, some aspirin with water was taken then she headed out. Her feet were on autopilot as she made her way down a few streets in the direction of where Angel lived.

The house from the outside was quaint and cute, his grandma was sitting on the front porch wrapped up in winter clothes with a cup of hot tea in hand; she looked like she was enjoying herself. The older woman smiled brightly at her "Hello dear, are you looking for my Angel?"

Buffy smiled back at her "Yes, is he in mam?"

"Oh now, call me Kathy dear… no 'mam' necessary here! Would you like a cup of tea or hot cocoa?!" Kathy got up from her position on the porch and ushered her inside the house, Buffy shook her head to decline the offer.

Kathy pointed her to upstairs and told her to enter the last room on the left, Buffy climbed the stairs slowly taking time to look at the pictures of Kathy when she was younger with her late husband and pictures of Angel's parents who he'd sadly lost when he was a baby.

She knocked on the door quietly and pushed it open, she froze immediately – her mouth open in shock. Angel was dripping wet, the towel that had been around his waist now thrown haphazardly on the floor, leaving him completely naked.

The look on his face rivalled hers; he too was shocked that she was in his room. His hands went down to cup himself from her gaze "Buffy" he started to shuffle backwards to retrieve the towel "What are you doing here?"

Buffy couldn't find the strength to look away, she had been appreciating how his muscles were developing when he was in school – now standing in all his glory she felt like she was on fire. Droplets of water ran down his chest and over the muscles in his stomach till it pooled on top of his cupped hands.

Her skin flushed crimson and she smiled widely "I Uh, I wanted to thank you…" her eyes trailed downwards, hating the fact that she couldn't see all of him "…for last night" her eyes met his, even though he was surprised, he looked like he was completely comfortable in his skin.

Angel done his best to not show her that he was terrified of her seeing him naked, he wasn't shy about his body, in fact the definition he could see was pleasing him but with her being the girl that he lusted after, he suddenly wanted to hide.

"Oh" he carefully picked up the towel and wrapped it around his waist "No, don't worry about it… you looked a little worse for wear" he rifled through his drawers and found a pair of boxers that he slipped on underneath the towel then done the same with a pair of jeans.

Buffy chuckled "Don't be so polite, I still look worse for wear today" she tucked a flyaway strand of hair that had been annoying her behind her ear then looked to the floor. She felt a bit silly for coming over to thank him; it was something she could have done over the phone.

Angel threw the towel into the hamper then smiled shyly "Well, I didn't want to be so forward" he ducked his head and back away as she tried to playfully hit him. He laughed loudly, thinking how cute she looked when she giggled.

He ran his hand over his forearm, he wanted to spend more time with her when she was like this; usually she acted like a bitch in front of her friends, this was the real Buffy, the one he wanted to get to know "You doing anything today?"

Buffy shook her head, the rest of the A-crowd would be hiding in their rooms nursing their hangovers, she was free as a bird "No, why?" she chewed the inside of her lip waiting on him replying; usually when one of the jocks asked they'd make a joke about something they were doing without her.

"I've got no plans… and today is Sunday dinner, which I usually cook for me and my grandma, would you like to stay for food?" when she nodded in acceptance he bit down the urge to celebrate, coolly he nodded then pulled on a shirt.

Buffy looked around his room, there was photos of him, his grandma, old pictures of his parent and pictures of his friends, she recognised some of them to be from their school and the others she had no idea who they were.

"This is beautiful" her fingers ran over a drawing of what looked like his mother full of smiles holding a baby, the likeness to the picture that hung on his wall was amazing. She faced him in shock when he said that he had drawn it "You draw?"

Angel swelled with pride, he knew that he had a gift, Kathy had always said he did but he didn't want to take just her word for it because she was his grams and would always favour things he done over anyone else.

"Yeah, it calms me down… its quite therapeutic" his hands shook as he pulled out the A3 sketch pad from the shelf in his closet and handed it to her. This was his special pad; he only kept it for drawings that meant a lot to him.

Buffy flipped carefully through the pages, there were pictures of his family, some alone some of them all together and some were of him and his friends "Angel, these are amazing!" she stopped on the last page which had the outline of a female "Whose this?"

Angel pulled the pad from her hands and closed it over, within no time it was back in its rightful place on the shelf, he stuttered over his words "Uh, I-its of… its just no one… I'm not sure who it is" he done his best to stop the redness creeping up his cheeks but failed.

The drawing was of her and she knew it, the outline included the shape of her nose that was a dead giveaway. It warmed her heart that he had started a sketch of her in a sketch pad that was obvious that it was kept for important drawings.

"…Its nice…" he cleared his throat at her reply then tipped his head for her to follow him downstairs. She followed him in silence then smiled widely as Kathy berated him for not offering to pour her a drink.

Angel made his way into the kitchen, pouring them both a fruit juice. Buffy gulped hers fast causing her to cough; her cheeks went red for the second time that day. He patted her back firm but gently "You okay?"

Buffy coughed loudly then laughed "Yeah, I'm okay" her voice sounded strained from the coughing fit that she had just gotten over. She gave one last cough to take the residue away then smiled "I'm fine"

He eyed her carefully then began pulling items out from the fridge "As long as you're okay?" when she nodded he turned back to the opened fridge. He could feel her eyes on him as he moved around, preparing the meal for that night.

The way he moved was elegant, he was beautiful and manly but looked at ease with the task of making dinner for her and his grandma. Buffy helped chop some vegetables for him but he insisted that she should relax and wait to be fed.

Once the dinner was prepared he placed the plates down on the table where they were to be seated, Buffy took her place beside Angel and across from Kathy. The conversation during their meal was light; thankfully Kathy didn't push as they confirmed that they were only _friends_.

Feeling stuffed from her lovely meal Buffy said goodbye to Kathy and left as Angel walked her back home, they made small talk during the journey to the point that it felt surreal "We could do something again, if you want?"

Angel's hand caressed her shoulder lightly as he stared deep into her eyes, the moss green pools sparkled as she bit her lip and looked back at him. He wanted nothing more than to slide his hand and wind his fingers into her hair, pulling her into a kiss but he managed to suppress the notion.

Buffy was caught off guard with his question, she smiled lightly. Seeing him again was something she wouldn't mind, the day had been a change but pleasant, she could see herself enjoying more time with him "Yeah… I'll let you know"

They remained in silence, both battling the urge to make a move on the other. The beat of his heart was rapidly thudding away in his chest, almost to the point where he knew that she'd be able to hear it. Angel took a deep breath then smiled as he walked away.

She watched as he walked back towards his house then went out of sight. Buffy smiled widely then entered her house; a girly squeal escaped her lips as she shut the front door over.

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><p>Angel came back downstairs from tending his son and apologised to her "he wanted me to read him a story… I'm glad you stayed though" he had been away for 15 minutes before Connor nodded off again, he was expecting her to have split.<p>

Her lips still tingled from their kiss earlier, whilst he was away she was tempted to leave, unsure of what he would say once he had time to think over what they had done and want to be away from her, they had only just began speaking after a long time apart.

They made their way into the kitchen and like she had done the first time she had ever came to this house she sat on a seat at the kitchen table and watched him as he prepared a meal for them. She had suggested take out so not to trouble him given the circumstances but he declined.

Although he was older, his build more masculine and the muscles even more defined than they were over five years ago; there was still elegancy in his moves. Once the dinner was prepared Angel woke Connor up from his nap and they ate in silence.

Buffy done the dishes as Angel packed up the things that they had brought over to the house that morning; he decided that he couldn't stay in the house that night so they made their way back to the hotel. The journey wasn't long, Buffy felt deflated as they saw the sign; her time spent with Angel was coming to an end.

As they reached the entrance to the hotel they stopped, Angel faced Buffy and placed his hand on her arm "Buffy… thanks, I uh would invite you for a coffee but" he tipped his head in the direction of his son who looked like he was about to fall asleep again.

She shook her head "No, I understand" she looked up at his eyes with longing, her mind kept coming back to when they had kissed and what could have happened if they weren't interrupted. Angel must have sensed this as he leaned down to kiss her softly.

"Goodnight Buffy" her hands played with his collar, he could see that she didn't want to leave but he knew that she had too. Buffy smiled at him then continued the walk to her own flat; he stood outside the hotel watching until she went out of sight.


	5. Chapter 5

**Thanks for the reviews! Darla's actions are that of someone who is twisted and callous, if she'll appear? Not sure yet.**

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><p>It took a few moments for the movement to pull him out of his sleep, Angel scrunched open his eyes then smiled as Connor was jumping on the bed to wake him "Daddy!" he giggled once he saw that his father was awake.<p>

Angel sat up long enough to grab him and pull him down; hugging him close as he rolled side to side on the bed "Got ya!" Connor giggled furiously as Angel tickled him; he chuckled at the angelic face of his son "Oh the tickle monster!"

Through the giggling Connor had managed to get out of his father's hold and slide off the bed, he peeped up from his position on the floor "Daddy, can we go to the park today?" his big blue eyes pleaded with his fathers.

"Of course we can, buddy" there was no way he would be able to say no to him, the look he got could melt butter. Angel choked out some air when his son pounced on him in excitement.

Connor urged him to get ready as quick as he could; the breakfast that was included with the price of the room was scoffed down by them both and in no time they headed out to the park just off of Main Street.

Angel pushed him on the swings, spun him on the merry-go-round then watched as he slid down the chute, went round the climbing frame and back down, sliding happily. Eventually Willow showed up with an ice cold drink for them both.

Connor took a gulp of his drink then went back to playing, Willow smiled at Angel "How you doing today?"

"I'm okay" Angel couldn't even convince himself that he was okay; his tone gave it all away. He wasn't okay and wouldn't be for a while, he was just thankful that he had people here to take his mind off of everything.

Willow placed her hand on his reassuringly; she didn't want to push the matter "How's Buffy?" when he shot her a glance she raised her arms in peace "Hey, I can see that she means something to you… no matter how much you deny it"

Angel sighed heavily, he wanted to hate her but couldn't. She meant a lot to him, especially for being so considerate to Kathy and to him over the past couple of days; she wouldn't have done that if she didn't have similar feelings for him.

"Will, she was all I could think of back in High School, I just can't let go of all the shit they put me through, she may not have done it all but she was involved with them…" he looked over to the girl who was slowly becoming a good friend and smiled.

"We had a nice evening, she was there for me which I appreciate… but I'll be going home soon" he knew that his days in Sunnydale were numbered, he had a job and a life waiting for him back in LA, waiting for him to take the reins again.

Willow nodded sadly, she would miss him and Connor, she had become attached to the boy and would feel a loss once they would head off home "I think you should speak to her… five years can change a person"

Five years could, he knew that all too well "I'll think about it Will" he grabbed her hand and placed a kiss on top of it, they had became close but only in a friendly way, they would never cross that line as they were too different for that ever to work.

Willow beamed brightly; she stood up and took Connor's hand as they all left to go to the diner for a quick bite to eat. Angel kept scanning the bodies looking for Buffy but she wasn't in, he picked at the napkin in front of him – should he see how things go or just end it where it stopped last night?

Connor went off with Willow to go see a movie, leaving Angel by himself. He had retreated back to his hotel room and was resting upon the bed, his thoughts were non-stop of him and of Buffy, them being apart and them being together; it was beginning to cause a migraine.

Angel closed his eyes over for a moment and before he knew it Willow was chapping on the door, carrying a sleeping Connor in her arms. She placed the boy on the bed and kissed Angel on the cheek on the way out, leaving them to their night.

Angel ran his hand over his sons sleeping face with a smile, this was his reason for being so driven, he wanted to make him proud. If he asked to see Buffy again and IF that led somewhere, he didn't know if he could watch his son break apart if they stopped things.

With only a few days left he knew he had to make a decision soon.

Oooooooooooooo

Buffy reclined on her sofa but her leg shook nervously, last night had ended on sort of a high and now she was nervous; the exact reason she didn't know why. It had been less than 24 hours and he hadn't called or text her, he had her number after all.

She chuckled at the absurdity, it had _only _been 24 hours, she shouldn't expect him to contact her in that amount of time, pushing aside the circumstances; she was being irrational.

Making herself busy, she washed and tidied up the apartment then rearranged the furniture, moved the books around the shelf and put fresh linen on the bed then a quick shower to boot, Buffy threw herself down on her bed trying to get to sleep.

That night was spent tossing and turning, she tried to push all thoughts of him out of her mind but couldn't. Buffy lay in bed hugging her stuffed piglet teddy, whenever she had a lot to think through that was always what she done since she was a kid.

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><p>*Senior Year*<p>

"Buffy honey, you have a visitor"

Buffy sat up on her bed and frowned, she wasn't expecting anyone to come over. She froze on the spot as Angel walked into her room, she was in a ratty old top and a pair of shorts; hugging Mr Gordo tightly. Worst timing ever.

"W-what are you doing here?" his amused expression caused her to blush, she threw Mr Gordo across the room, internally apologising for the action to it then walked over to him carefully.

Angel smirked, at school she always looked good in the high end clothes that she strut her stuff in but seeing her in a worn out shirt and shorts, she had never looked so beautiful. He cleared his throat "Uh, History project?" he wiggled the books at her.

Buffy rubbed her arm and smiled shyly at him "I thought we were meeting at the library later?" when she saw his face drop she felt bad, she came over to him and put her hand on his chest "Thanks for coming over, as you can see I'm in no state to go out"

He ran his fingers through her hair to pull it away from her face, glad that she hadn't took him showing up the wrong way "You look gorgeous…" his heart melted when she blushed again, he looked over to the thrown teddy and smiled "Love the pig"

"That's Mr Gordo!" she picked him up and gave him a hug, never in a million years would she have done this in front of her friends, they would never let her live this down. Some reason she felt completely comfortable around him.

The way she wrinkled her nose was adorable, he bit back the urge to kiss her by holding up the books "Uh History?"

Buffy sat cross legged on the bed and he took a seat at the computer table as they settled down to study for the History project that was assigned to them. Throughout the afternoon they laughed and joked about everything, growing fonder of each other.

When it came time to leave both wished they didn't have too, slowly they cleared up the mess of paperwork and food wrappers to make her room tidier than it had been since they had began their project earlier that afternoon.

"I would walk you home but… you know" she tipped her head at her ratty attire then blushed. Angel smirked at her, she was damn cute when being shy, his skin tingled when she placed her hand on top of his arm "Goodnight"

His eyes drifted from her eyes down to her mouth, he wanted nothing more than to kiss her there and then but knew it probably wouldn't be a wise move. He settled on running his fingers through her silken tresses and tucked a strand behind her ear.

"Night, Buffy" he saw her bite her lip gently with a blush, too flustered to say anything she nodded back at him and leaned against the doorframe. Angel gave her a half smirk that made her insides melt as he started the walk back home.

.

The next day at school Angel worked up the nerve to give Buffy some of the paperwork that he had mistakenly taken from her pile. They didn't have History that day so he wouldn't have the chance to hand them over in a safe environment.

He hadn't seen her since morning bell but like everyone, he knew that they she would be in the courtyard with the rest of the A-group in what they claimed as theirs. On his way towards the spot where she and her friends hung out he stopped and hid behind a pillar when he heard his name being discussed.

"I cant believe you got paired with Angel, watch you don't contract anything" from the snide tone he could tell that it was Cordelia who had said that. What he wouldn't give to put her in her place, she was such a bitch.

He heard a laugh and knew it was Buffy's "I know, it's like outreach to the loser programme… lucky he's good at History, I'll ace this" then both of the girls laughed loudly followed by Cordelia saying more nasty things about him.

His heart sunk when he heard Buffy's reply, he thought that she liked him. He closed his eyes and took a few deep breathes, his insides twisting in pain as Buffy agreed with something vile that the queen bitch had said about him.

Angel bit back the sick feeling and stormed off in the other direction, their time spent together had made him think highly of her but now he knew different. He should have expected her to be two-faced and didn't know why he thought anything otherwise.


	6. Chapter 6

**Thanks for the reviews! Dont worry, Connor doesnt feature so heavily in the upcoming chapters.**

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><p>*Senior Year*<p>

"Angel, do you want to come over to mine tonight or do you want me to come over to yours?"

Buffy frowned as he huffed down the phone, his tone clipped as he said he'd rather meet at the library "Okay, I'll see you around Seven?" he barely finished answering before he hung up, leaving the horrible squeal of the dead line tone in her ear.

She hung up the phone, just staring at it in thought. It had been a couple of days since they had last spoke and he was nice then – maybe it was just an off day he was having, she was guilty of having them herself so couldn't fault him.

When the time came to go to the library, she waited for half an hour in the lobby before finding a spare table to do more research all alone. She had almost two pages of notes written out before he eventually showed up.

"Where were you? I had to start alone" she peeked up from the notes and caught the unsympathetic expression on his face. His brooding was famous, but this was something else – something deeper than usual for him.

Angel sat down heavily and sighed "Well not everything can be handed on a silver platter to you princess" he tossed open the page of a textbook he grabbed and began copying passages of text, ignoring the hurt look that was sent his way.

He was still hurting from over hearing her harsh words a few days prior. A twinge happened deep in his chest when he first saw her, how beautiful she looked deep in thought; however it took milliseconds to build the walls around his heart again.

Buffy shrunk back at his words then felt annoyed, how dare he speak to her like that, if they weren't in the library she would have started shouting at him "What crawled up your ass?" she glared over at him, trying to get his attention to no avail.

He continued writing out the notes, not even taking the time to look at her "I just want this done with Buff" the hurt feeling came back when he kept ignoring her. She didn't know what she had done to cause this; the last time they'd been together they'd had a good time.

They spent another half an hour in tense silence before calling it a night; Angel picked up the books and stormed off, leaving her tidying up her paperwork. Buffy stuffed the note pad back into her bag then high tailed it out of there.

Once she got outside she wrapped her arms around herself to keep warm from the cold, a few tears escaped as she replayed their conversation through her head. He had always been a gentleman and always made her feel special, now he was treating her like all the other guys she knew.

By the time she had got home her face was soaked with tears, to avoid explaining why she had been crying Buffy ran up to her room and threw herself on her bed, holding Mr Gordo close. She sunk into the bed and let out a silent cry as her stomach twisted into a ball of sickness.

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><p>Buffy carefully picked out a light dress and made sure her hair was sitting perfectly, thinking things over she was going to talk to him and see if he wanted to go out for a drink by themselves, have a chance to talk.<p>

If they had a chance to discuss it all then she would come clean, say the things she should have said back in high school but like an idiot she didn't want to because of the repercussions. Stupid reasons held her back then but wouldn't now.

She made her way over to his childhood home, she wasn't sure how she knew he was here but she somehow sensed that he was. Her hand shook as she knocked on the door, after a few moments Angel opened the door, looking at her in surprise.

"Hi" she wrung her hands together to stop them from shaking "Can I come in?" he hadn't said anything to her but he smiled and stood to the side to allow her access to the house, the house was silent, it appeared he was here alone "Where's Connor?"

Angel gazed down at her and appreciated how the dress clung to her curves, he cleared his throat "Will took him out to the movies so I can get some of this paperwork done" he tipped his head to the piles of paper on the table.

It didn't occur to her that he would still be sorting things out "I'm sorry, if you're busy I'll come back another time" she chewed the inside of her cheek then spun on her heels to leave but he caught her arm in his hand.

"No, I needed a break actually…" her emerald eyes flushed with relief as a cute smile twitched on her face "Would you like something to drink?" he went to the kitchen and poured fresh lemonade for them both then brought them back into the living room.

Buffy took a sip, feeling instantly refreshed. Angel took a drink of his own then fixed his gaze on the blonde beside him "What brings you here?" he wasn't expecting her to show up; he thought she would have at least called.

She sat the glass down on the coaster carefully "I wanted to ask… if you wanted to do something, catch up properly?" her eyes focused on the glass until she had finished speaking and only then she cast her gaze on Angel.

He was watching her with interest, although she was trying to play it cool he could see her muscles tense in anticipation "Yeah… why don't we stay here and I'll cook?" a smile tugged at her lips but he could see her happiness shining in her eyes.

"I'd like that" she took another sip of her juice, doing her best to get rid of the dryness in her throat. It still amazed her that just being near him threw all her senses out of whack, no one ever had that sort of power over her, ever.

Angel started to shuffle up the papers "Excuse the mess, I wasn't expecting anyone over today" he put them inside a folder and placed that along with a pile of other folders that had still to be sorted out "What would you like to eat?"

She shook her head as she raised her hand "I'll eat anything; I know I'll enjoy it" he had only cooked for her a couple of times but each time the food was exquisite. Buffy followed him into the kitchen as he began preparing their meal.

Buffy didn't want to sit by the side and do nothing so she tied on an old apron so she could help him without spilling anything over her dress and put the potatoes on to boil "This is nice, don't you think?" she smiled up at him, by the look on his face he was enjoying this too.

"Yeah, it's nice to have someone else, makes cutting these damn onions more bearable" he chuckled as his eyes began to water. Angel used the back of his hands to clean away the tears from the sting, why he opted for onions he didn't know.

Buffy giggled at the sight of him "I know what you mean" her eyes stung a little but not as bad as he was the one cutting the offending vegetable, he finished cutting the onion then ran the cold tap to rinse the knife.

Angel dried his eyes off with a handkerchief then threw the onions on the griddle along with the fillet steak that he had bought the previous day "how would you like yours done?" he pushed the steak around, allowing it to cook.

"Well done!" she scrunched up her nose at the meat as it was still pink in the middle, she heard Angel scoff and shake his head.

"Really? A steak should be medium-rare, just a little cooked but not enough so it's a little bloody" he smirked then took off the steak that would be his and sat it on a plate; he flipped her steak to allow it a little more time.

"Urgh, you like blood and you used to stay up all night when we were younger, I'd say you were some freaky creature of the night, mister!" her eyes sparkled with amusement. Angel couldn't help but smile back at her.

"Not a vampire, I just happen to appreciate a proper done steak" he placed her steak on the other place then dished out the vegetables and potatoes. He sat both the plates down then poured them both a glass of wine to go with their meal.

Buffy took a sip of wine "Hm, you might just have to convince me that you're not" she raised her eyebrow at him then cut a bit of her steak to eat. He didn't give her a sauce to pour over the steak but whatever the spices or herbs he used during cooking gave it an amazing taste.

She looked at him appreciatively, without saying anything he smiled back at her as he continued to eat his own meal. It wasn't long before they had polished off their meals and a few glasses of wine, Buffy washed the dishes as Angel had done the preparation.

Once everything was put away they retreated to the living room and got cosy on the sofa, Angel put on the radio to a station that played chilled out music quietly to allow them to speak.

Buffy relaxed into the sofa, it was something that had been weighing on her mind and she knew it was time to wipe the slate clean, start afresh with him "I know I wasn't the kindest person to you back then and I want to apologise"

Angel paused for a moment, keeping a lock on all the feelings he had buried deep down. It was true she wasn't nice to him so he nodded slowly "You don't have to…" he looked over to her; she looked genuinely ashamed of how she had acted "It's in the past Buff"

She shrunk back at her name being shortened, he had only ever called her that when he was annoyed with her, she hoped that he wasn't "No, Angel, It's the right thing to do, I can't keep blaming _them_ for how I acted, it was wrong"

He was startled as she placed her hand on top of his to give it a squeeze "I want to make this right between us…" missing her chance when she was younger was something she didn't want to repeat and wanted him to know that.

Angel smiled faintly, that was something that had crept into the darkest recesses of his mind and had begun making everything brighter; clearer even. Making things better between them would be something that he was willing to give a shot.

He ran his knuckles over her cheek gently, loving the warmth of her skin. Although he wanted to give this a try, look at opening himself fully to her, he knew that there was something deep down that scared him; he didn't want to get hurt again.

Buffy smiled eagerly at him but it fell when he sighed heavily, pulling away from her touch however remained beside her on the sofa "…I'm leaving… me and Connor are leaving the day after next"


	7. Chapter 7

**Thanks for the reviews! Sorry for the delay, not entirely happy with this chapter but I've tried to re-write with not much success.**

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><p>*Senior Year*<p>

"Class, you are going to use the first half of this period for time to prep, go find some quiet space and finalise the details and in half an hour we'll come back and begin…" the stuffy teacher squeaked out some more instructions then clapped his hands.

Buffy's gaze nervously flicked towards the back of the class where her partner was seated, once again his face gave away nothing but he avoided looking at her. No matter how stoic he was, his eyes were the window to his soul.

She gracefully slid out of her seat , throwing a fake annoyed glance towards one of Cordelia's clueless clones then tapped her heel as Angel slowly got out of his own seat then strode past her. Once again she had to bite down the urge to let out a frustrated scream.

She followed him out of the classroom and into one of the smaller study halls that only another pair of students were in. He threw his body heavily down onto the seat without any word then began tapping his thumb on the desk.

Buffy counted to five to help squash the sickness that was rising within her, ever since that disastrous study date over a week ago they hadn't spoke; he hadn't even smiled in her direction "So, you want me to start or would you like the honour's?"

No matter how hard she tried for her voice to remain strong it came out as a squeak, giving away how nervous she was. Angel slumped back in his seat then rolled his head towards her as he shrugged "Whatever you want Buff"

Her bottom lip jut out as she pouted, she wanted to let out a growl and beat him for being an ass but she knew that would be wrong. After a tense pause she placed her hands on her hip "Fine, I'll start then"

He didn't bother to acknowledge her sentence or her presence for the rest of prep time either. The class could tell things were strained during their presentation; most of them being with the A-Crowd just put that down to being associated with a loser like Angel.

Buffy forced a smile at the end of the presentation then gracefully took her seat, as Angel was walking past one of the Jocks he kicked out his leg causing him to fall face first into the ground. The class erupted in laughter.

Angel pushed himself into a standing position then tried to stop the flow of blood from his busted nose, he wasn't embarrassed for a change; he was livid. He was fed up of all the incessant taunts from people who thought highly of themselves and wouldn't let it crush his spirit.

The teacher advised him to see a nurse and reprimanded the student in question, he slung his bag over his shoulder and stalked out of the room, just as he passed Buffy he shot her a lethal glare causing her to shrink in her seat.

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><p>Her stomach dropped and her body began to prickle with misery, he was going to leave and probably never come back. Buffy opened her mouth to speak but couldn't find words to say so she closed it back over.<p>

Angel looked down at his hand "I have to go home… this is the most time I've ever taken off since being there" he saw her pick at the bottom of her dress to avoid looking at him "What did you expect Buffy?"

She refused to answer him, luckily Willow entered at that moment with Connor; she smiled over at the red-head in greeting. Connor ran over to his father and gave him a hug "did you have fun?" he gave Buffy a look that meant their conversation wasn't over.

Connor grinned excitedly "It was fun, I got a milkshake and candy and cake and and, it was cool!" his son bounced around him, then ran over to Buffy to shake her hand "Hi Buffy! You look pretty!" he nodded profusely at her.

"Why thank you Connor!" her heart melted a little, he was such a little charmer. Connor kissed the top of her hand then ran up to the room he had been using as his. She looked over to see an amused look on Angel's face before he fixed an annoyed but friendly glare on Willow.

"He seems a little excited?"

He saw her shift anxiously in her spot at the door; she giggled then smile a little too wide "Oh, he ate a bit too much sugar and is a little bit hyper… would you look at the time, I have to go, see ya!" suddenly she vanished from sight.

Angel groaned, Connor being hyper was a task in its own, it would take him hours to settle down. He looked over at Buffy, knowing that they wouldn't be able to talk without interruption; he had to think of a way to kill two birds with one stone.

"Look it's not that late, how about we take him to the park to burn off energy and we can discuss this more?" his eyes pleaded with hers, he wasn't in the mood for a fight or for her to run and hide from him.

Buffy nodded in acceptance as Connor came running back downstairs "Let's go to the park, it's a lovely night buddy" Connor looked at his dad and jumped up and down in excitement. Angel picked him up with ease "Ready?"

He saw her think it over then smile lightly, she picked up his keys as he requested and locked the door behind them. The walk to the park was highly animated; Connor described in as much detail about the movie and how it was cool when things exploded like he saw in the film.

The way he spoke about things and the love in his eyes for his father made her smile yet sad at the same time. Although she didn't mind children, this little boy made her sad that she didn't have a baby of her own, making her feel lonesome.

Buffy sat down on the bench once they had arrived, Angel let Connor down to the ground who eyed them up carefully "Are you my daddy's girlfriend?" both of the let out a laugh at the same time "What makes you say that?"

Connor eyed his father carefully then looked over at Buffy as he placed a hand on her knee "Because she is very pretty, duh!" he giggled once more then ran over to the swings, leaving them both in a stunned silence.

After a few moments Angel blew out some air "Kids, huh?" Buffy ducked her head and smiled, that was true; they had such innocence about them and always told the truth in a blunt but cute way that they do.

"Angel about earlier… I meant what I said" she couldn't work up the nerve to look at him, she was afraid if she looked into his eyes that she might start crying. His hand slid over hers and squeezed it tightly; she bit her lip then turned ever so slightly to look at him from the corner of her eye.

Angel smiled at her "I know but like I said, I can't stay here" he saw her frown so he pulled her hand to his mouth and placed a kiss on top. Willow had gave him food for thought, five years could change a person – to be honest she was _mostly_ a great one back then, there wasn't much she would have to change.

Buffy blinked back a few tears, she didn't know why she was getting this upset, they could keep in touch of course but deep down it felt like she was losing him all over again. Angel wrapped his arm around her and pulled her close, both enjoying the silence as they watched Connor play.

Their bubble of peace was disrupted as a highly done up Cordelia stopped in front of them "Well if it isn't the loser, nice to see… hah, no its not" she turned her sardonic glare towards Buffy "Oh, doing outreach for the pathetic? Hmm, nope you're just pathetic too"

Angel couldn't believe that she was still acting like queen bitch; he guessed some people never grow up; Buffy ripped herself out of his grasp and stood up, he felt the loss like a punch to the face, once again Buffy Summers was making a fool of him.

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><p>*last week of Senior Year<em>*<em>

Her heels clicked off the hallway floor as she practically trotted down to her friends, they looked up at her in question "Oh my god, you are never going to believe what I found out!" Cordy took a deep breath "Angel-the-Pathetic has a crush on you…"

Buffy raised an eyebrow, doing her best to keep her face neutral. Inside she smiled widely; excited that the feelings she was having towards him may be reciprocated. She saw her friend nod "H-how did you find that out?"

Cordelia flicked her hand as if it was common knowledge "he dropped that silly sketchbook of his in front of Harmony, there was a drawing of you, how creepy!" her face turned up, shivering in disgust at the thought.

A drawing of her? She knew he carried a sketchbook around, whenever she walked past his house he would be laying on the grass deep in concentration. Of course during art class she had saw some of his work, but not the portrait of her she suspected that he had started many months ago.

"I know! We should invite him to Devon's party!" she could see the wheels turning in Cordelia's eyes, she was coming up with a plan, no doubt it would be one to embarrass him "Yes! We should invite him, we are almost graduating after all!"

Buffy glanced over to her friend, she would like to invite him and see the drawing but then again if they found out that she felt something for him then they would come down harder on her than they ever would on him, going against better judgement she nodded.

.

Angel stood frozen to the spot as Cordelia walked over to him; Buffy and Co in tow, with the biggest smile on her face "Hi Angel" she ran her hand over his chest, giving him a coy smile "So Devon's is having a party tonight, no parents, just a get together for some people, end of school sort of thing, I'd like to see you there"

He didn't know what to say, deep down he knew there was an ulterior motive, he hadn't spoken to Buffy since their project a few months ago, he knew Harmony had saw the drawing – so she probably knew about it. He steadied his hands and cleared his throat; Buffy's pleading look got to him "Yeah, I'll be there…"

She nodded and touched his chest once again before leaving him with his thoughts. It took a lot not to yell out in excitement, it was almost the end of their school career, he wanted to end things on a good note; he let out a deep breath then headed home to get ready.

.

Buffy looked around Devon's house, she hadn't saw Angel part of her was glad, knowing that something was going to happen and part of her was sad because she genuinely wanted to spend time with him, to reacquaint herself with him.

She took a _few_ drinks to loosen up; eventually Cordy whispered that he had shown up. He was dressed in a shirt and jeans that made him look good enough to eat, Cordy nudged her towards him "Hi Angel"

He nodded with uncertainty and took a drink that Cordy had offered, he struggled with the decision to come or not, these people had made the past four years of his life hell and now they were being kind. Buffy gripped his hand and drunkenly pulled him in the direction of one of the downstairs bedrooms.

She shut the door over then smiled "I heard that you drew me, is that true?" she could see nerves in his rigid frame, she came over once again running her hand over his chest then forearms "I'd like to see it… please?!"

Angel relaxed a little, at least there wasn't an audience "I did… but I didn't bring my sketchpad"

Buffy pouted "Oh" she backed up then sat on top of the king-size bed that lay in the middle of the room, she leaned back onto her elbows, causing her skirt to ride high on her thighs "That's a shame; I really wanted to see it"

Angel was rooted to the spot, he felt himself stir as her finger unconsciously drew patterns on her thigh. She shuffled off the bed, walking over to him and giving his shirt a tug "Have you ever drawn me naked?" she kissed his jaw "Do you ever think of me naked?"

Buffy kissed his jaw again, never usually acting as forward as this; she put it down to the alcohol that she was finding it difficult to control herself and not touch him more. She moved closer to him and could feel the bulge straining his jeans.

It surprised her a little that he was reacting to her like this, her fingers worked their way through his messy hair as he leaned down to kiss her. At first it was sweet and innocent before his tongue made its way into her mouth when she moaned.

He felt his stomach get queasy and it wasn't from finally getting a chance with Buffy. He stopped their kiss, his eyes wide in panic "What's wrong Angel?" he pushed at her to get back, she was unsure what was happening.

Cordy and her group of friends burst in at the exact same time his bowels decided to betray him, they all laughed and pointed at him and the predicament he found himself in. Angel's cheeks burned red with extreme embarrassment – he looked to Buffy who looked like she was dying to laugh.

They all taunted him and threw toilet roll at him, he shot a hurt look at Buffy then done his best to flee Devon's house through the discomfort of having had an accident. Buffy placed her hand on her mouth; she knew they wanted to embarrass him but didn't think they would do something like this.

Cordy was still in a fit of giggles "Oh that was just too much!" she put the bottle of laxatives back on top of the drawer beside the bed where she had found it then walked back over to the crowd of drunken idiots who were still laughing.

"What the fuck?" she got off the bed and headed towards Cordelia "I thought you were going to make fun of him for the drawings?" the look on all of their faces, more specifically the look on Cordelia's face irritated her.

Cordelia snorted in derision "Yeah but this was so much better, did you see that, how disgusting!"

Buffy felt anger rise in her, she knew what the boys – and girls in school were like. The last boy who had a mishap got so much stick for it that he stopped coming to school before trying to take his own life with all the taunts.

She hated to think that she had been a part of this, there wasn't much time left in School but something like this, those jackasses would most definitely never forget. Immature inbreds.

The look that Angel had shot her before he had fled cut her deep, the betrayal and the hurt was festering in her stomach, she felt utterly disgraced at this and of everything nasty, involuntary or not that she had caused for him.

As Cordy laughed more, Buffy swung for her and punched her hard, causing her eye to blacken and swell.


	8. Chapter 8

**Thanks for the reviews! SMGbest, I agree with you slightly, thats whats good about fiction though x  
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><p>*Senior Year*<p>

Angel sat with his head in his hands, the party had been embarrassing. He wanted to laugh, get over it but he couldn't, if his own friends done that as a joke he would have got over it once giving them a sore face but the fact that she had done it, he couldn't let it go.

Well, Buffy hadn't exactly done it to him, she didn't hand him the drink but it was her and her friends he was with. He was livid but most importantly he felt like he was burning from the inside out, his stomach knotted painfully at her betrayal.

He was going to go to School on the Monday but swiftly changed his mind when he went out to his car to be greeted by Riley, Forrest and Parker. They smiled falsely at him, trying to lighten the mood and appear to be his friend before goading him into a fight.

They yelled obscenities at him as he went back inside then keyed the side of the car. He was never one to back down and hide but he knew it would get worse, they were only a fraction of the A-crowd that had been there and they were loyal to each other.

The rest of the week continued the same; he skipped school and went to the mall only to find the ones that had decided to cause mayhem at the food-court; he stayed at home only to be hounded by them there.

It seemed that word on his Buffy-drawings had spread further than Harmony and the green eyed beauty he had used as a model; the jocks who came over taunted him, calling him a creep and a freak and that he would never have a chance with her. When he asked them why they were doing this, the only reply was 'because they can'.

By the end of the week, missing his last few days as a high school senior he decided that he wasn't about to stay here. The past four years had culminated into something he absolutely despised, eventually they would relent and let him go; but who knew when that would be?

The best thing for his sanity and to get over his ridiculous feelings for Buffy would be to leave, pack up, get out of Sunny-hell and forget about them all. He looked around his room for anything that he had missed that was essential and sighed.

"Yeah Granma?" he made his way downstairs when Kathy called him, he felt nauseous at the thought of leaving her by herself. She smiled warmly at him and pulled him into a tight hug although she was tiny compared to him.

Kathy kissed his cheek "Sure you haven't changed your mind?" she knew what had been going on; he had pleaded with her to remain inside although she wanted to take a baseball bat to them for hurting her brown eyed boy.

She felt him shake his head, knowing him so well she knew he wouldn't have anyway, besides it would do him good to reach for the stars "Once things settle down you can come live with me in LA!" she let out a chuckle and patted him on the head.

"Don't be silly my Angel, this is my home, this is where I'll spend the rest of my days… now promise me that you'll be safe and that you'll mind and call this silly old dear" she patted her damp eyes with a handkerchief.

Angel kissed her cheek, he loved this woman with his whole being "Of course I'll call… I'll make you proud, when I have an apartment you can come visit me in the City" she nodded mutely then kissed his cheek again.

"I'm always proud of you dear; you're a much better man than those lousy little children at your school, they'll never have half as much as what you'll have!" she patted his back then stood back as he pulled away from the kerb and drove away from her.

.

Buffy had tried to call Angel but he didn't answer, she even went to his house but Kathy said that he was out and wouldn't be back till late. She knew he was avoiding her – avoiding them all. The day of graduation came and he still wasn't in attendance, and hadn't been since the party.

She could feel a group of eyes burning right through her, Cordelia and her ex-friends were all giving her the evil eye. Since the party last week they all stopped speaking to her for retaliating for the prank on Angel.

Cordelia patted her blackened eye with more makeup in a failed attempt to hide the imperfection and practically growled at her. Buffy smirked then headed off to join the queue for their diplomas, Angels name was called but he didn't go to collect the scroll.

Buffy felt a new wave of nausea wash over her as she replayed the anger filled hurt look that he had thrown her before fleeing the party. She collected her diploma and forced a smile to the crowd of students and parents before her, not feeling in any way happy.

After the ceremony was done she attempted to go back to his house, this time Kathy harshly stated that he had moved away before slamming the door in her face. Buffy stood rooted to the spot as a few tears escaped from her eyes.

All because of being immature and clueless she had hurt him and now it looked like she had lost him for good. She began to retch when she thought she would never see him again; at that point she realised the extent of her feelings for him.

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><p>Buffy scoffed, since graduation her and Cordy barely said two words to each other, it was mostly just death glares "Still staying with parents and not having a job? <em>That's<em> what's pathetic Cordelia, maybe you should get a life instead of annoying everyone elses"

The brunette drew her eyes off of the blonde then off of Angel, it was true she stayed with her parents and never had a job that she could keep down. She forced down the feeling she got at the jibe – her parents and her were now poor when they got into trouble with the IRS.

Angel remained quiet as they two girls tossed barbs at each other, from what he could remember they were tight when they were younger; now it seemed they couldn't stand each other.

Cordelia started to stutter when she couldn't think of any more retorts so she threw her hair over her shoulder in a huff "Whatever, you two losers look perfect for each other! I feel like I'm losing my coolness being here!"

She scampered quickly down the street when she saw Buffy raise her fist at her, she didn't want another shiner. Angel chuckled then cleared his throat "…What happened between you?" he could see Buffy think over her answer carefully before replying.

"Well, she done something that was so damn infuriating … I tried to get even and punched her, if you see Graduation photos she has a black eye" she smiled proudly at her handy work, she had never thrown a punch before in her life but that was a cracking first effort.

Angel smirked at her "…what did you want to get even for?"

Buffy was unsure about how to go with this conversation, she wasn't sure if he would get mad at her bringing this up or if he would be okay with it. It was a horrible thing for them to do "Something about a party… and laxatives…"

He saw her look at him from the corner of her eye, it took a moment for the memory to hit him vividly – that was a night he tried to forget but all he could do now was laugh "Oh… that night?!" he ran his hand over the back of his hair.

Buffy chuckled "Yeah, I got upset that they done that to you…" she pouted in sadness then looked away from him, she felt bad that she was technically involved in the plot by being talked into inviting him to the party.

Angel rolled his eyes "What you upset for? I was the one who shit myself…" the amused glint in his eye made her smile, Buffy let out a breath and sat back down beside him. Angel was going to say something else before Connor came running back to them.

"Angel, I'm sorry anyways" he shook his head to let her know that she needn't apologise about what happened, it was in the past, sure he had held onto his anger for a long time but he deep down he knew that she was being genuine in her apology.

Connor yawned loudly "Daddy, I'm tired!" he put his arms around his father's neck and his legs clung to his waist, Angel stood up and they began the walk to the hotel room. As they remained silent on the journey it gave him time to reflect on her admissions.

When he fled Sunnydale it was mostly to do with the hurt from their prank, it wasn't just at the party but for the time in between that and graduation they were relentless, no matter how much he tried to avoid them, he would always be found.

He held on to the hurt and focussed it all on Buffy, she was the reason he went to that party, he thought that she was growing out of being superficial but felt betrayed when everything happened. Now he could see that she had in fact grown up and that it wasn't her fault.

"Tomorrows my last full day here… I'll call you tomorrow if I have a chance to make plans?" with it being his last day, he wanted to spend some time with her before he left and didn't know when they would meet again.

Buffy nodded sadly "Yeah, I'm working tomorrow morning but I'm free after that, Good night Angel" he placed a kiss on the side of her head then went inside to put his son to bed. Buffy sighed; at least he now knew the truth about back then.

Her gaze lingered on the entrance to the hotel; she would give anything to be going up there so she could cuddle into him that night. She made her way home and went straight to bed, as soon as she slept then woken, her shift would be over and hopefully she would be able to spend time with Angel.

Oooooooooooooo

Each time she stared at the clock she thought that it was intentionally going slow, time ticked over at the rate of a highly relaxed snail. Especially after she received a text from Angel, asking to meet her later that day, he didn't said what they would do but just that they should do something.

Even the old annoying man was back, making a nuisance of himself and it didn't bother her, she decided that nothing would today. Buffy cleaned up the spilled drink then handed him another before retreating to the back of the diner.

"What are your plans for later?" Tara who had been reading a magazine closed over the pages then looked at her kindly.

Buffy shrugged her shoulders "I don't know, he didn't say what but I'm glad, this is his last day here" her face fell; she didn't want to say goodbye but knew she would have too.

Tara came round from the table and put her hand on Buffy's arm "You can still talk to him, it's not like before – you will keep in touch with him, right?" when she saw her pout, Tara pulled her into a hug to comfort her.

"Yeah, we'll keep in touch but it's not the same" Buffy squeezed Tara then let go, the clock on the wall showed that it her shift was over "Well I got to get going" she smiled at her friend then left through the back entrance.

Buffy went home, had a shower and was in the process of drying her hair when there was a knock at the door. Angel beamed brightly at her, she was in a pair of shorts and a tank, her hair half damp – all he could think was that she was so damn beautiful.

"Come in… just give me five minutes till I finish off my hair" he entered the apartment after her then sat in the living room as she ran to her room without saying anything else. Less than five minutes later she came out fully ready and looking even more beautiful than before.

"You look…" he shook his head, unable to find the words to express his feelings so he smiled at her "…well I hope you're hungry? I found this little place off Main Street that's meant to be lovely" when she nodded he took her hand in his then set off.

They were seated in a secluded part of the restaurant, candle lit dinner and the live music made it a date made in heaven. Angel made her feel special, the conversation was kept light but about him leaving, although the made a pact to keep in contact.

Once their meal was finished, they remained seated to have a couple more glasses of wine; then set off back to his hotel. Willow had taken Connor for the night, to allow them a chance to have a peaceful last night.

The TV in the room was switched on to the music channels and they settled on Angel's bed to continue their conversation; they began talking about high school, back to better times and all the funny things that happened.

Not before long they were laughing loudly at the silly things they could remember. All Angel could think of was her laugh and how it lit up her face, that she was one of the most beautiful women he had ever met, when it became too much he leaned over to kiss her.

Buffy opened her mouth to let his tongue massage hers, the butterflies in her stomach flapped away excitedly, his scent, his taste was driving her insane. She moaned as his lips worked their way down her neck and his hands went down to the hem of her dress.

Angel pulled the dress carefully off of her and took a moment to appreciate her body "You are so beautiful" his mouth continued its onslaught on her skin, making her moan louder. Buffy yanked his shirt, sending the buttons fly everywhere, not fazing them at all.

Neither could wait much longer as they stripped their remaining garments off, Angel pulled her close as he entered her. Their union was one that was full of emotion, not rushed in anyway; they used it to express all emotions that they had kept hidden for years.

They lay in each other's arms enjoying the silence, as the dawn approached the last thing Angel remembered was Buffy snuggling into his chest as sunlight began to filter its way into his room.

Angel scrunched his eyes tight as a ray of sunshine hit him directly on his face, he rubbed his hands over his eyes to help wake himself up. A smile spread widely as he remembered last night, he rolled over to be faced with an empty bed.

He leaned up on one of his elbows and took a look around the room; Buffy was nowhere to be seen.


	9. Chapter 9

**Thanks for the reviews!**

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><p>Buffy stretched her body out, loving how relaxed she felt. She turned her head to look at Angel; he slept so peacefully, her lip began to jut out as she tried to stop herself from crying. Last night had been perfect, but now this was the end.<p>

She felt her heart crush at the thought they wouldn't see each other every day, sure he lived in the same state as her but what if he met someone when he was home or began to realise that he didn't have those types of feelings for her?

She placed her head on his chest and closed her eyes, taking as much from this moment as she could. His steady heartbeat done nothing to soothe her shattered emotions, Buffy bit her lip to stop herself from crying out.

"Goodbye" she pressed her lips to his softly then retrieved her clothes, her gaze lingered on his sleeping body for a moment then she forced herself to leave. If he was awake she wouldn't be able to control her emotions, she didn't want to say goodbye where he could return the sentiment.

Oooooooooooooo

"Hi Willow" Buffy smiled at the redhead but when she smiled back at her it didn't reach her eyes, she looked mad at her "Can you give me Angel's LA address?"

Willow scrunched up her face "Why? What reason would be enough to give you it?" she took a sip of the coffee that she had just ordered not moments before, Buffy sighed then took a seat across from her.

"Will please, I need to speak to him" her eyes pleaded with the girls but it looked like she was getting nowhere, Willow shook her head "Please?"

Willow sat up straight in her seat "Buffy No, why after almost three month do you want to speak to him? He told me you split that day, have you any idea how much that hurt him, just leaving without saying anything?" she folded her arms across her chest.

Buffy felt her stomach clench, she knew it was a bad move to make but it seemed rational at the time, regardless, she needed to speak to him in person "I know I shouldn't have, I wasn't thinking straight but you got to believe me that I _need_ to speak to him, face to face… please?"

Many times she had picked up the phone, dialled his number, let it ring, telling herself that this time she would be strong and say something; say anything but like each time before once she heard him speak she wigged then hung up.

Willow eyed Buffy carefully, although her skin was tanned and her hair sun-kissed there was something below the surface, she looked tired and the apprehension in her eyes was unmistakable.

The tone Buffy spoke with cut through her anger, she was Angel's friend till the end, she would always take his side but something about the way she was pleading cut her down to the bone "Okay… just don't go if you plan on hurting him again"

Buffy shook her head, she wouldn't intentionally hurt him but there were things they did have to discuss. She took the address and placed it in her purse as she headed towards the bus station, her bag was packed for a couple of days – the hotel, once she found one close by she would rent a room.

The bus journey up to LA took less time that she thought it would but then again, her mind was filled with so many things. She had to work out what to say to him, she hadn't tried to speak to him since that last night just down to the fact she didn't know what to say without getting upset.

It took a good thirty minute walk from the bus station until she found the street that he lived on, she saw the sheer size of the houses here and gulped; they were massive. The house numbers increased and increased, and then she stopped outside of his house.

Buffy bit on her bottom lip as she made her way up the long driveway and stood at the front door, three times she intended on knocking but chickened out at the last minute. She had a mental pep-talk with herself then took the plunge and knocked loudly.

After a few moments she heard noise from behind the door, it swung open to reveal a sleepy looking Angel. His eyes roamed over her body then done a double take of her face, she saw hurt work its way through his deep chocolate eyes.

"Hi Angel" she smiled shyly at him, his face went blank as he eyed her up "Can I come in?" it looked like he was about to say no when she spoke up again "Please… I came to talk to you" silently she pleaded with him to allow her access.

Angel gulped down the upset and hurt that surfaced seeing her standing at his door, he hadn't seen her or spoke to her in over two months and was still annoyed about being ditched that last morning in Sunnydale, but he was the tiniest bit interested in what she had to say.

He led her down the hallway until they reached his living room; he sat heavily on the sofa then nodded for her to sit down on the one across from him. Buffy sat on the edge carefully as she placed her hands on her lap "Where's Connor?"

He kept his face emotionless "He stays with Darla, remember?" she flinched at his tone; she knew that he didn't have sole custody and berated herself for asking such a silly question; it was definitely a sore spot with him.

"What you doing here Buff? Not heard from you in two and a half month" he leaned back on the sofa and crossed his leg over his other thigh, his pose was one that showed he didn't care why she was here; although it was just a front, his eyes gave away his true feelings.

Buffy let out a deep breath, she didn't know how to start or what the best plan was to do was, she took another moment then looked at him with unshed tears in her eyes "I'm sorry, for how I left… I got so upset that you were leaving and I couldn't face you saying goodbye to me Angel"

He let her words sink in, so maybe she had feelings for him? No matter how much she would spout lovey dovey crap he wasn't going to be so blind to accept that at face value; once again she had humiliated and hurt him.

"So what, it took you months to work up the nerve to tell me this? Why not just call, you have my number do you not?" he pursed his lips together and raised his eyebrow; his leg had begun to shake on the other to repress his anger.

Buffy frowned "You have my number too; I didn't see you try to call me!" she ran her hand up her arm as if to form a shield to protect herself from his unforgiving tone. The way he was speaking to her reminded her of the time in the library when he suddenly turned cold and it still upset her.

Angel chuckled at her "…And I'm supposed to call you, after you split? You left during the night Buff, not even a goodbye note" hearing his words back sounded ridiculous, he felt as if he sounded like a lovesick little girl.

"Angel, I'm sorry, I handled it badly" she made her way over to the sofa that he sat on and sat beside him but at an angle so she could look at his face "I know I hurt you but I didn't mean to!" she put her hand on top of his as the tears began to fall.

He wanted badly to rip himself away from her but once again Buffy Summers was cutting down his defences and leaving him susceptible to hurt. She used her free hand to wipe away the tears from her face "Angel, there is a reason I came to talk to you"

He remained silent, watching her trying to compose herself but failing. Each tear that ran down her face felt like a stab to his heart, no matter how much he tried to dislike her, he couldn't; it pained him that she was upset.

Buffy took a steadying breath, it was now or never. "I'm pregnant" slowly she raised her eyes to his, she could see him tense "It's yours Angel" her stomach began to knot as he pulled out of her grasp and walked to the other side of the room "Say something?!"

Angel shot a glare at her; he definitely wasn't expecting her to say that, he swallowed the lump of fear that rose in his throat "What you gonna do about it?"

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><p>*Days Earlier*<p>

"Buffy you don't look so good hon' are you feeling okay?" Tara ran a rag under the cool water then scrunched it to get rid of the excess water; she placed it on Buffy's forehead, concern was etched on her face.

Buffy smiled at Tara for a moment then a wave of nausea ran over her again, she took a deep breath then laughed sadly "No… no I'm not okay, I've been getting sick, more-so in the mornings" she didn't want to say the word out loud but her friend did.

"You're pregnant?"she smiled widely, then pulled back the strands of hair that had stuck to her damp forehead "Isn't this supposed to be a happy time?" she frowned when she saw the tears fill Buffy's eyes, threatening to spill.

"I've not spoke to Angel since that night… I don't know how he'll take it… I don't deserve to have him be happy about this" she brushed away a lone tear that had escaped, that would be the only one she would let fall, she was an adult and had to take responsibility for her actions.

Tara ran her hand soothingly over Buffy's arm "He deserves to know, that he has another kid… put yourself in his position, how would you feel if you found out you had a kid you didn't know existed, I know I wouldn't take it well if it was hidden"

Buffy nodded, true, she would not be one bit happy if she was in his position; she had to let him know "…what if he doesn't want the baby?" all she could do was shrug, she didn't know if he would be happy or not; first thing first, she had to let him know.


	10. Chapter 10

**Thanks for the reviews and Happy Holidays!  
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><p>Buffy scrunched her eyes as the sound of her baby crying had broken through her sleep; she glanced at the clock, <em>04:30, <em>right on time. She rolled out of bed and went over to the bassinet that her daughter was resting in.

She scooped the baby up carefully and began to hush her, after a moment she sat down on the rocking chair and unrobed herself so she could feel the baby. Before long the room was filled with silence as her little girl was back asleep again.

"Night my sweet" she ran her finger tip over the chubby little cheeks and smiled; six weeks ago she had went into labour a couple of days early, there was a few complications that caused a panic but after being taken into the delivery room she was born. That day was the happiest of her life.

Buffy placed the sleeping girl back in the bassinet then went back to bed to get more sleep. When her alarm went off at 8 she hut the button quick to avoid waking the child, a moment of fear flashed through her as the bassinet was empty, she laughed with relief as her ears picked up the sound of a voice in the other room.

"Who's the cutest baby huh? It's you Sarah, you!" her heart melted when she went into the living room and saw Angel lying on the floor with their daughter, fawning over her lovingly.

Angel blew raspberries at his daughter causing her to giggle and clench her chubby little hands to get closer to him. He looked over at Buffy as she entered the room and looked apologetic "Sorry, did I wake you? She was restless earlier, you need your sleep"

Buffy shook her head then sat on the sofa beside the changing matt that her daughter was lying on top of "No, I had an alarm set, I have a few things to do" she yawned loudly, showing that she was in fact still sleepy then she blushed.

"Buff, if it makes it easier you can always move in with me for a while, I have more than enough rooms – means I can do some night feeds so you can get your rest" his gaze ran over her with concern, she still looked beautiful but the dark circles under her eyes were marring her perfect complexion.

She shook her head, it would make sense for them to move in with him but she wasn't sure that they were ready for that yet "Unless you can get milk from your nipples, It can only be me who does the feeding" she smiled at him when he scrunched his face up.

Angel diverted his attention back to Sarah who was giggling on her mat, his heart swelled as he looked down at her beautiful little face. He blew another raspberry at her then chuckled at the silly face she made at him in reply.

Buffy bit her lip as she watched the loving look that was on his face, each time she saw it made her insides warm and fuzzy; it was something she thought she would never see.

The day that she told him that he would be a father again didn't go exactly how she imagined it would. He flat out asked if she was keeping the baby, when she said yes he shrugged it off then said some nasty things; it was allowed though, she had hurt him bad.

She fled back to Sunnydale and spent four days crying over the whole situation, on the fifth day Angel showed up at her door with a massive bouquet of flowers and the saddest puppy dog eyes in history, he was there to apologise for his behaviour.

After that they took things slow, instead of diving head first into a relationship they decided the mature plan would be to date occasionally then build up the time spent together; it went sort of to plan, their first date they spent all night in bed unable to stop touching each other.

After that they tried to control their animalistic urges to some success, eventually smooth sailing hut some rocks and they spent a week arguing then a further week not speaking. When the appointment came to find out what gender the baby was they made peace.

Since then they were able to mend bridges and had a plan sorted out that involved them both, for when it came time to the unexpectedly early delivery and a proposed plan that they were trying to stick to since Sarah was born.

"When you stop breastfeeding you are more than welcome to stay, it would be nice to be around Sarah a lot more" his dark chocolate orbs pleaded with hers, he knew the arrangement – it was her request after all but he felt he was missing out on quality time.

Buffy ran her hand over his hair and smiled "I'll think about it" they had taken a big step forward, once their emotions calmed down she moved into an apartment in LA only 20 minutes from his house; so they could be closer to him.

Angel smiled back at her then looked down at his daughter who began giggling again "Here comes the raspberry monster!" he blew raspberries against her tiny tummy, making her squeal with delight, her limbs flailing in all directions.

"Would you like some breakfast?" she made a move for the kitchen but was stopped by him gently latching onto her hand and tugging tenderly "You watch Sarah, I'll make the breakfast" he smiled kindly at her then went into the kitchen.

Buffy watched him leave then carefully made her way to the floor to play with her daughter. Once the breakfast was made she placed Sarah in the bassinet then gratefully ate the meal that he had prepared.

Once their child was asleep again they retreated to the living room and switched on the TV. The next half hour was spent in silence, neither one of them wanting to break the peaceful bubble that had been created by inadvertently arguing.

Angel looked over to her and could see that she was fighting the sleep that she clearly needed, whenever he would suggest going to sleep like he had in the past couple of weeks she would shrug it off and do her best to show him up.

He must have been staring for longer than he realised as her eyes darted to his and she smiled lightly. Instead of saying anything he just stared back at her with his eyebrow raised, knowing that she'd understand what he wanted.

Buffy rolled her eyes and shifted closer to him so she could rest her head on his chest, immediately he wrapped his arm around her shoulder and pulled her flush against his side. They remained like this during the rest of the movie, loving the feeling of being in each other's arms.

With another loud yawn Buffy blushed then shied away from his gaze "Just get some sleep, you can push back those errands until tomorrow" he felt her nod then tug on him as she made her way to the bedroom.

Silently they lay down on top of her bed, retaking their position from earlier. At first they were both rigid as they hadn't been this close, even innocently, on top of a bed in months; not that they were nervous around each other, it was just uncharted territory in their current situation.

Buffy gnawed on her bottom lip; at times she felt that she wasn't as desirable as before. It had been a long time since they had been intimate, deep down something whispered in her mind that he would lose interest in her and leave.

"Angel, do you ever feel like things just shouldn't be a certain way?" she looked up at him sadly; she didn't want to think he had rethought things; sure he had asked her to move in but that was for their child and not for her.

He ran his thumb over her lips; her eyebrows were knitted together as she looked downwards in thought "What do you mean?"

Buffy puckered her lips to place a gentle kiss on his thumb "Just you had a carefree life eleven months ago and now we're in this situation?" her eyes became damp, her emotions were over the place and since having Sarah she felt she wasn't the same as before.

Angel sighed, he knew that she was hormonal; he had certainly met all ends of the spectrum since they had agreed to date "Listen to me, we may not live in the same house and play happy families but I would not change this for anything"

She licked her bottom lip then cleared her throat, it was mostly her fault that they hadn't moved in yet, she was afraid that it was a momentary thing or worse just that he wanted their daughter and not for the both of them to be together.

Without saying anything further she snuggled against his chest effectively ending the conversation. Sometimes he got frustrated by her aloofness when it came to deep conversations – there was something behind her questioning and he didn't know what it was.

A time later, Angel lay awake just listening to her almost purr in her sleep, he looked down at her and sighed; there was something about her that twisted his insides. In his working life he was ruthless and headstrong but when it came to her he felt like a shy boy in comparison.

Occasionally he would delve into his thoughts about her and what happened when they were younger, he wanted to scold himself for holding on to what happened; that he was being irrational. On the other hand he couldn't let it drop, he loved her and she hurt him, repeatedly.

His thoughts gnawed away at him as he lay in bed holding her; he could feel something strange rise from within and he didn't like it. Carefully he pried himself away from her and rolled her over, making sure she was still asleep then he crept away from her.

He brushed his fingertip lightly over Sarah's chubby cheek and whispered "love you" his eyes lingered on her angelic little face then he shut the door of the bedroom over and left the apartment.

Once outside he ran his hand over his hair in frustration, he didn't know where the sudden influx of emotion came from and he didn't like it. He could feel the tears pinpricking the back of his eyelids, letting out a ragged breath he stormed away in a mood.


	11. Chapter 11

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><p>He could hear movement through the hardwood floor of his foyer, Angel kept his eyes closed then ground his teeth together as he inhaled her familiar scent "What do you want, Darla?" he felt her straddle his waist and grind herself on him.<p>

She ran her tongue over his ear then bit his lobe "I was thinking… for old time's sake?" she gyrated on top of him, implying on what she wanted to happen next. When she hut the floor with a thud she gasped in shock "What was that for?"

Angel shook his head and paced around the living-room "What's the matter, shine off of the marriage now?" since they had officially split up many years ago she never once looked at him or even hinted that she would want him again and that he was happy with.

Darla rolled her eyes and placed her hand on her hip "Wedded life is _fine_ darling, I just hate to see that broodiness that you're so fond of" she strut over to him, swaying her hips from side to side then ran her hand over his chest as she came close.

"Come on… let me make it all better" she tiptoed up so that she could place her lips on his, when she felt his lips part she wasted no time in thrusting her tongue inside to duel with his. She tried to wrap her arms around his neck but he pushed her away.

Darla stumbled then almost fell if it wasn't for grabbing onto the back of the sofa; she shot him a menacing glare "This is about that girl, isn't it?!" in all the time she knew him, she knew about his 'love' from back home and his sick obsession with her.

It irked her to no end that she didn't have his undivided attention back then that was part of the reason that she had sought comfort elsewhere. Once she met her current husband she was relieved that she wouldn't have to think of Angel again.

Only when she found out that the little cheerleader was pregnant she realised that she still had feelings lingering over Angel. They were minuscule feelings of course, but enough to cause an itch that only he could scratch.

Angel shot her a glare, he hated when Darla brought Buffy into this. Early in their relationship she used that as a weapon to bend him to her every whim, making him feel spineless; once they broke up she used their son instead.

The insecurities of being bullied by people like her when he was a teenager rose to the surface, that was a time that he hated to relive "Leave her out of this" he could see her menacing eyes shine brightly, knowing full well that she was getting to him.

He thought for many years that he had hated Buffy, but there is a fine line between love and hate. He tried to push those thoughts away and bury them; the past seven month made him realise how much he did love her.

He had been in love with her for years and wanted nothing more than for them to be together, things were improving but when she said that they should take it slow and remain in separate houses for at least while, and again today… it hurt.

"My boy, when are you going to realise that the only girl you'll ever love, doesn't love you back… she never did… and never will, that _spawn_ is the only thing that links you two together and we all know how easy it is to take the child away… you'll be all alone… again"

If he wasn't up for a round of wild sex then she was more than happy to sow the seeds of doubt and destroy his happiness. She was a twisted bitch and she knew it, she came close to him again and whispered in his ear "You'll always be alone"

She licked his earlobe then smirked as she strut out of his house. Angel was rooted to the spot; he didn't want to look at her face as he knew that he was struggling to keep his emotions in check. When he heard the door slam he punched a nearby door in frustration.

Oooooooooooooo

Buffy woke later that afternoon, she reached out in hope of feeling his warm body but came into contact with cold sheets "Angel?" she looked around the room then listened carefully, maybe he had moved into the living-room?

She got out of bed then checked the bassinet just in time to see Sarah yawn and blink her eyes open "Come here" she scooped her little girl into her arms and cradled her against her chest, the baby yawned again then babbled incoherently.

They made their way into the living-room then the kitchen to find the place empty, Buffy frowned; It wasn't like him to up and leave, he would usually wake her long enough to tell her that he was going, or leave her a note.

"Will we get dressed and go see Daddy?!" Sarah squeezed her chubby digits and smiled widely, she may have been very young but Buffy knew that she was going to be smart. Within no time she got both of them ready and they left, calling a cab.

The driver tried to make small talk with her but she wasn't interested, something was up with him and she knew it. Due to heavy traffic it took ten minutes longer than usual to pull up outside of his house; she threw money then made her way inside.

"Angel?" she peeped her head inside before pushing the door wide open to bring her and the pram inside. She could hear quiet music coming from down in the basement, the music wasn't soft by any stretch but it was faint.

Buffy took the baby out of the pram and held her against her chest as they made their way down to the basement; in all of the times she had been here she had never ventured into there, she didn't even know that he used it as a room.

As she got closed she could hear Angels grunts, she pushed open the door and frowned "Angel?!" her voice barely rose above the sound of the harsh music that he was playing but it was loud enough to reach him through his focussed task.

Angel stopped in his tracks; his hand was shaking as he tried to pluck out shards of glass from his other hand with a pair of tweezers. His heard swirled as he looked at her with sad eyes "What do you want Buff?"

Her eyes went from his face down to his bloody hand causing her to gasp "What happened?" she thanked him silently when he switched off the racket from the stereo "Angel" when she got closer she could smell the whiskey "Have you been drinking?"

His head fell to one side and he shrugged "What's it to you?" he tried to straighten out his hand but hissed from the pain of the cuts. As he tried to stand he stumbled and fell against the wall, letting out a miserable chuckle in the process.

Her heart broke as she watched him, he looked sad. She had seen him sad before, sad at a time when his beloved grandma had passed but this was different; he looked defeated "I care about you… tell me what happened?"

Angel stumbled towards the pair so she manoeuvred her body so that he couldn't place his hand near their child; he was in no state to be acting as a parent "Angel!" he looked up at her with unshed tears in his eyes and dropped to his knees before her.

Buffy stood in shock but didn't move as his arms snaked their way around her hips so he could place his head on her stomach. He nuzzled against her belly and took a deep breath "I want you so much, it kills me to think that you don't want me"

It felt like a physical blow to her stomach, throughout their childish arguing and stubborn personalities, she had never once used feelings against him. It took her long enough as a teen to realise her feelings; she would never jeopardise them to get a one up over him.

She shook her head "Angel… I do want you… I… I love you" her free hand ran over his hair to calm him down, she didn't know why he was acting this way or where he got it in his head that she didn't want him; she had never said those words before but she meant them.

"How can you love me, I'm just that loser you used and humiliated back in high-school" he didn't dare look up at her, he didn't want to see into her eyes to see what he thought he knew; he didn't have to he could feel through her body language that it was true.

Buffy pulled out his embrace and bobbed Sarah gently up and down to stop the tears that she knew were due to come "Can we talk about this upstairs?" his eyes were still cast on the ground, she could only tell that he accepted by the nod.

By the time she walked upstairs Sarah had calmed down she placed her into pram and pushed her into the kitchen. Buffy eyed the door that had a broken pane of glass and blood smears over it with distaste and grabbed a first aid kit from a drawer.

Angel's slumped frame came into the kitchen in silence and sat heavily on a stool at the breakfast bar, refusing to look at her. Buffy took the tweezers from the kit and began pulling out the remaining shards of glass from his hand; she winced when he grunted in pain.

Once the hand was free of the foreign object she used alcohol and cotton wool to dab at the cuts "Angel?" the cuts weren't deep enough to warrant a doctor's visit so she bandaged his hand up and her it in hers "Look at me, please?"

Slowly he raised his head to look at her, a lump formed in her throat as she saw raw emotion in his eyes. She ran her hands through his hair then came to rest on his shoulders, giving them a gentle massage "how can you think that, you're not a loser"

When he didn't respond she kissed his forehead "you have made something of yourself, you have a career, a son that loves you and a baby who adores you…"

Angel cleared his throat, the harsh words that his bitch of an ex left with him earlier were still burrowing their way inside "What about you?" she was an insecurity that he wanted to get over, after seven years, he didn't know if that would be possible.

Buffy smiled kindly "I… Angel, I will always have a thing for you, I've always had, It was my fault back in senior year that I didn't show you how much you meant to me" his hands came up to stroke her sides gently "for years, I've regretted the way I treated you… I really do love you"

The inner Angel and Demon were feuding on his shoulders, one arguing that he should let go and get on with loving her and the other whispering words of malice in his ear. Angel wrapped his arms around her and pulled her against his chest.

He laid his cheek against her shoulder, taking the time to feel comfort in her arms "I've tried to give my love but it seems not enough… I don't want to end up alone" he pulled back far enough so he could look into her eyes.

A tear rolled down her cheek at his words, it was tearing her upside that he thought he was worthless "You won't end up alone" she placed her forehead against his and closed her eyes as she bridged the gap and kissed him.

The kiss was full of deep emotion, she wanted to convey as much meaning as possible to show him how much he meant to her "I love you… and I'm not going anywhere!" she left a lingering kiss on his lips then looked into his eyes.

Despite the fact that their relationship hadn't been an easy ride so far didn't deter her, things had certainly moved fast from that day in the diner when they had first spoke after years apart up till this point; she wouldn't change any of it.

Buffy squeezed him reassuringly "…why? Why would you put yourself down like that?" she saw his eyes flick from one end of the room to the other, looking anywhere but directly at her. When he finally looked at her, she quirked her eyebrow at him; waiting on his reply.


	12. Chapter 12

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><p>"Buffy!" his little legs ran as fast as he could till he wrapped his arms around her neck as she kneeled down to his height. Buffy held Connor tightly then let him go as he wriggled out of her grasp so he could peek into the pram to see his baby sister.<p>

Her smile fell as she saw Darla swagger up to them, Angel was at work but it was his weekend with his son so she offered to pick him up "Darla" she nodded curtly; she now knew that it was her fault for Angel's outburst the night before.

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><p>*last night*<p>

She quirked her eyebrow at him then ground her teeth together when he said Darla. She could feel his grip on her tighten, as if afraid that she would leave "I want to be honest with you… she kissed me but I promise I didn't want too"

Buffy felt that all too familiar feeling of jealousy rip through her, she'd only met Darla a handful of times but she knew she hated her with a passion; the bitch was twisted. His dark chocolate eyes widened when she remained quiet "Buffy?"

Angel drew patterns on her back with his hands in an attempt to calm her down, it would have been easier just to forego this piece of information but he knew that it would most likely come back to bite him in the ass; he wanted to be completely honest.

"I'm not mad, I'm furious…" she could see the fear in his eyes, so she leaned down and kissed him softly "…not at you dummy… I hate her" his body became less tense but his arms were still locked around her slender frame.

She leaned back down to press her lips against his, when she leaned back she smiled lightly as she ran her fingers through his messy hair.

His hands travelled from her back down to her ass and squeezed her gently, Buffy rolled her eyes and swatted his shoulder; she was still mad but she wasn't mad at him "Come on, I'll make some coffee and we'll talk about this more"

She knew that there was more to it than just Darla trying to seduce him, she really could use a wine with the upcoming conversation but a decaf would have to do.

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><p>The older blonde sneered at her but didn't acknowledge her in any other way "Now, if you're not having a good time kiddo, just call me and I'll pick you up" she rolled her eyes as Connor sent her a glare then focused his attention back on his sister.<p>

Darla went to leave but Buffy followed her, putting some distance in between them and the children. Buffy stepped in front of her to stop her in her tracks "Angel told me what you said, let's get this straight, I love him and I'll never leave him"

Buffy fixed a cold glare on her "try to manipulate him again and I'll beat you right out of those last season heels that you're wearing" she raised her head higher so she could stare down her opponent. Darla refused to say anything she ground her jaw then stormed off in the other direction.

Feeling triumphant she turned back to her daughter and to Connor and smiled "What would you say if I told you we were going for ice cream?" Connors little face lit up bright and he nodded excitedly; reaching out, so he could take her hand in his.

They made their way to the ice cream parlour for a while before heading back home, by then Angel had just finished work and brought them in a meal for the evening. Connor ran excitedly into his arms and wrapped his legs around his father's waist.

"Hey buddy, miss me?" he closed his eyes and hugged him tight, ever since Darla had found out he was having another child she made visitation less and less, especially since Sarah was born. He spun him around making him giggle.

Connor swatted at Angel to let him down "yeah! Missed you so much" he could see his eyes shine sadly, whenever they were together Connor always confessed that he didn't want to go home; that he wanted to stay with him.

Angel ruffled his hair then looked at Buffy; she had the same look on her face as Connor. Along with the Darla situation they had come clean about their feelings and everything in between; they laid their cards on the table about how damaging their current living arrangements could be.

They had spent a lot of the previous night discussing what would happen next, both of them ended up with tear stained cheeks by the end of it but it was logical for her to gradually move into his house, being that it was silly that she wasn't already living with him.

Ever since they had reconnected in Sunnydale she was partially involved in the legal proceedings that Angel was taking against Darla for custody rights and so far it was slow, it was moving along but taking forever.

He came over and pressed his lips to hers silently and hooked one arm around her waist to pull her flush against him. Buffy leaned her head against his chest to listen to his heartbeat, she could hear it thump away faster than usual, his emotions were still running high.

Sarah let out a cry so she pulled away from his embrace and tended to her. Angel served up the dinner for them to eat and once they were finished they all retreated to the living-room to watch a movie.

He looked down at his sons face and smiled, Connor had fallen asleep and was snoring lightly; he picked him up and took him up to his room and tucked him into bed. When he got back downstairs Buffy motioned for him to rejoin her on the sofa.

Angel pulled her against his chest and kissed the top of her head "How was your day?"

Buffy nuzzled her head his chest and smiled "Both the kids were behaving, Connor just adores her" they hadn't spent much time together on account of Darla, which annoyed her beyond belief; he had a right to see his baby sister.

"I also told Darla I'd kick her ass if she dares to pull something like she did yesterday" he raised his eyebrow at her, before he could say anything she kissed him "I really hate her" his eyes sparkled with amusement and he chuckled.

He hated her too, the only reason he still spoke to her was because of their son. Once the court date was through, he was confident that he would get more; if not sole custody it meant he wouldn't have to beg her for visitation.

Angel ran his thumb over her lips then slipped his hand around to settle on the nape of her neck; Buffy shifted her body so she sat astride his hips "Stay here tonight?" his other hand ran up and down her spine, leaving her feeling tingly.

Buffy closed her eyes as she felt his hands knead her body, his hands were like magic; each time he touched her, her muscles turned to jelly, making her feel completely relaxed "Of Course" her thighs tightened on his as he pulled her into a kiss.

The familiar rush of heat came over her body but the dull pain of her healing wound brought her back to reality "Sorry" she placed her head on his chest, she felt bad that they couldn't go further, the doctor had given her the okay but she still felt unsure of doing so.

Angel's hands continued to massage her, he could feel how tense she was "You don't have to apologise for anything" he squeezed her thighs gently and kissed the top of her head "Let's go to bed"

Buffy got off of his lap and picked up the baby monitor from coffee table, Angel switched off the lights and they made their way up to the master bedroom. Up until 6 weeks before the baby was born they hadn't shared a bed throughout the night, just the odd nap during the day.

After a moment she made her way into his bedroom, usually she would nap in the bed that was currently in the nursery but after their heart to heart yesterday it felt wrong not to spend the night in his arms. It had been a long time since they had done that and she was looking forward to it.

Angel tipped his head at her as she changed out of her clothes and into her pyjamas; she made her way to the bed and was immediately pulled against his side, his arm wrapped around her shoulder so she could snuggle into him.

Buffy sunk into the mattress and she hooked her leg over his, she forgot how comfortable this mattress was. It was like floating on a cloud "Goodnight Angel" he kissed her forehead and murmured goodnight back.

Oooooooooooooo

When Buffy woke the next morning she rolled over but came into contact with a much smaller body than Angels, she looked down to Connor who had crawled in during the middle of the night. He had an impish grin on his face "Hi"

Buffy smiled back at him "Hello" his little arms snaked around her neck so he could hug her, she loved the feeling she got each time he hugged her. Connor treated her like she was his mom; she was expecting him not to like her.

She loved him like he was her own son, in some ways he was; she wanted to feel bad about these feelings but because she knew how much of a bitch Darla was she didn't care. He giggled at her again then sat back on his haunches.

Before he could say anything Angel pulled him down against his chest and tickled him "How did you end up in here, huh?" Connor couldn't answer because he was giggling too much. Buffy watched the pair and felt more in love.

She propped herself up on her elbow to watch the both of them, when she heard a cry over the monitor she rolled out of bed and made her way down to the nursery. Buffy carefully picked up Sarah and bobbed her up and down to try to calm her down.

"Want me to do that?" Angel came into the room and rubbed her arm soothingly.

Buffy nodded and handed him the baby so she could go downstairs and start making breakfast. Whenever Connor came over he always helped in some way, he pulled out the eggs carefully and held them up so she could place them on the counter top.

They whisked the flour and eggs together until it were a smooth batter then she poured it in perfect little circles for them. Connor swiped his finger over the mixture that had landed on the unit and licked it with a smile on his face.

Buffy twitched her nose then done the exact same thing making him giggle, Angel came into the kitchen and eyed the pair carefully. Batter was on the countertop, down the front of the unit and somehow landed in a blob on his son's hair.

He watched the pair as they sprinkled chocolate chips then flipped the half cooked pancakes over to cook full way through. Watching them made his heart soar; although Connor liked Buffy when they had first met he wasn't sure how he would act with them being together.

They got on fantastically, deep down he suspected that his son liked Buffy more than his own mother; but that was Darla's fault, she was a bitch. Connor giggled again then stuck his tongue out at him, Buffy held her finger out to him that was covered in batter.

Angel stepped towards them and took her finger into his mouth, licking the batter off carefully as he eyed Buffy. Her eyes sparkled with mischief, he knew what she was thinking; there was this one time with sauce and whipped cream that came to mind.

He shook his head and smirked "You two sure make a mess" he pulled some plates out of the cupboard and held them as Buffy scooped the cooked pancakes on top then poured more batter on to cook.

Connor giggled again then ran round to the table and hopped onto his seat, pounding his tiny fists off the table in excitement. Angel sat the plate down in front of him then poured maple syrup on top "Eat up, Buddy" he didn't get a reply as Connor had a mouthful already.

Buffy smiled when Angel placed a kiss on the top of her head then went down the hall as the postman had just arrived. He flicked through the letters quickly, bypassing the usual junk but stopped as he spied the letterhead of his lawyer.

Without saying anything he came back into the kitchen and leaned his hip against the counter across from the stove. Even when Buffy put down his plate of pancakes on the table he didn't make a move to eat them, he held the paper in his hand.

"What's wrong?" she ran her hand across his back soothingly, feeling how tense his muscles were. Angel shifted against the counter then smiled down at her as she peered onto the paper. She skimmed the letter looking for the important parts then smiled herself.

They both looked over to Connor who was engrossed with his pancakes, the letter stated that a court date would be coming soon to determine custody – also that his lawyer wanted to speak to them about recent developments with Darla's care over the boy.

Angel slung his arm over her shoulder casually, his fingers entwining with hers. Buffy stood up on her tiptoes so she could kiss him, the kiss was soft and sweet letting him know that she was ready to be there for him and his son.


	13. Chapter 13

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><p>That weekend was spent doing activities as a family, Connor was smitten with his sister and he confessed that he wanted to spend more time with her as he felt that the two times, one being this weekend, that he had saw her wasn't enough.<p>

For someone as young as him sounding as if he was a fully grown boy made Angel feel proud, he wanted his son to grow up being smart and well rounded. What troubled him was when Connor would also tell them of things Darla and her husband would say.

The topics ranged from little comments between the two up to full blown arguments and a few choice words that he almost lost his temper over. No child should be using language like that. It angered him that she didn't take into account that children hear and see everything.

They sat Connor down and discussed the upcoming custody case, although worded it in a way that he could understand but also being objective; they wouldn't run Darla down but expressed that they would like to be full time carers for him.

Connor burst into tears when it was time to go home, he pleaded with them both not to make him leave. It broke Angels heart hearing the desperation in his son's voice but knew that if he even hinted at keeping him longer she would use that against him.

Darla honked the horn impatiently from her car, not bothering to come inside; not that he wanted her in his home but it would have been the civil thing to do. Angel scooped up his son and walked towards her shiny new Mercedes and opened the back door.

The frown on Connors face was one that rivalled his own, his little arms folded angrily on top of his chest, after a few pleading looks he eventually got the boy strapped into his booster seat and seatbelt fastened tightly.

Angel shut the door over and looked at his ex who looked a little worse for wear, the bags under her eyes were dark and her usual immaculate makeup was smudged. Darla glared at him then put the foot down, speeding away from the house.

Buffy was rocking Sarah to sleep as Angel came back inside, his brood face was back again; it was something she hated to see as it meant he was tearing himself up about something "What's wrong?" he took a seat beside them and sighed.

"I hate this! All I want is my son to be here, she's spent so much time using him against me, reducing visitation… if we don't win then I don't know what I'll do" he slumped back against the sofa and closed his eyes.

She placed the baby back in her bassinet then came over and snuggled up against him, he opened one eye to look at her smiling at him "Angel, try not to worry… we'll go see the lawyer and see what he has to say"

Angel brought her hand up to his mouth and placed a kiss on top as she spoke "I'm feeling confident that _we_ will win" the fact that he had said 'we' instead of 'I' earlier made her happy, also she wanted this just as much as he did, it would make their family complete.

Buffy nodded assertively as she caressed his cheek lovingly, she smiled encouragingly at him then kissed him when the corners of his mouth struggled with a smile of his own. She wanted him to be confident to an extent; she didn't want him to be in a funk until the big day.

Angel nuzzled his nose against hers lovingly then kissed her deeply, he was thankful that this half of his life was on track and doing better than ever. At the moment she was keeping him afloat from all the stress and heartache that this hearing was bringing to him.

"How about I make you your favourite meal and I give you a massage later?" she wiggled her eyebrows at him when he smirked at her. Staying over at his for the full weekend, everything peaceful and almost being like the perfect family made her spirits rise.

When she went to move from the sofa he held onto her hand and tugged her gently "Angel!" she fell backwards and onto his lap and giggled. Without saying anything his hand framed her face delicately and looked deep into her eyes.

Buffy leaned into his warm hand and closed her eyes as she placed a kiss on his thumb; she shifted her body when his arm tightened on her, pulling her flush against his chest. When she reopened her eyes and met his, her body tingled with delight.

The intensity of his gaze caused her to blush then clear her throat "Uh... I should go, make a start... in the kitchen" she nodded slowly to convince herself to move from his embrace, although she knew her attempt was futile.

Oooooooooooooo

They met up with his lawyer on the Monday to discuss the trial which was set for two weeks from that day, his lawyer was well liked and respected had came upon information that files for divorce had been submitted by Darla's soon to be ex-husband over her behaviour.

Although he couldn't give too much information away, he hinted that she was behaving non-too lady like which would work out better in their favour. Angel was desperate to know what she had done, not just out of curiosity but mainly for the safety of his son.

Once the meeting was done the three of them headed out for a late lunch, he had took the day off of work so he didn't have to worry about rushing both the meeting and his workload for that day.

Buffy puckered her lips together in thought, at the end of the week Willow was coming up to LA to visit them and had offered to take Sarah for the night. She didn't want to leave her, even just for one half of a night but it would do them good to go out for a meal, just the two of them.

Angel quirked his eyebrow at her, she cleared her throat "Do you think it's a good idea to take Wills up on her offer this weekend?" she kept her focus on his chocolate eyes, his face could master stoicism but his eyes gave everything away.

"Only if you feel ready?" he saw her duck her head as if she was ashamed, he placed his hand on top of hers to comfort her "It's okay, she's still very young… we can take up her offer once Sarah is a few month older"

Buffy mouthed thank you at him then looked at their child, she was still very young, it wouldn't be wise to leave her with a friend but she didn't want him to think that she didn't want to spend time with him either.

He smiled at the two girls in his life, true he wanted to have some alone time with Buffy, something he had been yearning for but he understood that it was too soon as well. Buffy smiled back at him once she finished wiping away the mess that Sarah had made.

Angel paid for their meal then they headed back to Buffy's to grab more clothes before going back to his house. By the time they had made it back to his house Sarah was sound asleep, he took her up to the nursery so she could sleep in her bassinet.

Buffy linked her fingers through his as he closed over the door of the nursery; she smiled up at him as she tiptoed to kiss him softly "What was that for?" instead of replying she only smiled again then led him downstairs to recline on the sofa.

The time they spent on the sofa were as if they were back to being typical teenagers, the movie they were watching was forgotten as they kissed, as hands wandered, holding each other close; it was perfect.

Eventually the need for food outweighed their wandering hands, Angel went straight to work in the kitchen as Buffy headed upstairs once Sarah's cry came over the baby monitor they brought downstairs with them.

He turned round as his girls came into the kitchen and smiled widely, Buffy was mumbling nonsense to the baby; Sarah herself was wide-eyed and babbling away "How's my girl huh?" her chubby digits clenched when she heard his voice and he scooped her in his arms from Buffy's.

Buffy got herself comfortable and removed her top, although it was a perfectly natural, innocent event, he couldn't help but eye her up. She rolled her eyes then motioned for him to give her Sarah back so she could be fed.

Angel let her be and continued with their meal, it took him longer than usual to eat as Sarah apparently wanted all the attention on her. Buffy placed all the dishes into the dishwasher and went up to bed as Angel took their daughter to bathe and change her clothing.

Once she was changed he tucked her into her bassinet then kissed her wispy hair "She's asleep" he wiggled the monitor then placed it on their bedside cabinet. The past couple of nights they both had stayed here and it made him happier that he was involved.

He plucked the book from between her hands and threw it across the room despite her protest, the happiness he was feeling he couldn't contain. He climbed onto the bed, his large body leaning on top of her slender frame as he kissed her softly.

Buffy wrapped her arms around his neck to pull him closer, her leg coming up to wrap itself around his wide hips "Angel…" he didn't say anything to her, in response he deepened the kiss. She bit her lip as he trailed kisses down her neck then bit her softly.

Despite her earlier reservations about being intimate, the doctor had assured her that she was okay to take that step if she so wished. It wasn't from fear of losing him that made her change her mind; it was that she somehow loved him even more.

She ran her fingers through his hair then pushed him away to give some space between them, he looked at her questioningly then smirked as her hands went to the buttons on his shirt and slid it from his shoulders.

Angel kneeled back long enough to pull her top over her head then settled back between her legs, his fingers framed her face as he stared into the deep green of her eyes, making sure that she wanted this as much as he did.

Buffy pressed her lips to his and ran her hands over the muscles in his back, tracing his spine as her fingers trailed towards his jeans. He didn't need for her to state anything else, she wanted this as much as him; it had been months since they had last been together.

Taking their time to savour the moment, there was no rush when taking off their remaining clothing or when he lavished every inch of her skin with kisses; they didn't feel the need too. Her heart beat rapidly from the way he was staring at her, making all insecurities melt in an instant.

He was never selfish, in fact he was always generous; making sure her pleasure came before his; this time it was like he had upped his game. Buffy had lost count how many times that her orgasm had been built up then released explosively.

All her nerve endings were on fire, every inch of her being was alight and sparked with pure emotion; when it felt like she would cry out in pleasurable pain Angel mumbled her name as he finally came, spent from their encounter.

They remained joined in their afterglow, not bothering to move one muscle except from when he rolled them over so she was splayed on top of his body. Buffy snuggled into his damp chest and couldn't help the smile that was plastered on her face.

Things weren't exactly perfect between them, it had only been a couple of days since his outburst and their heart-to-heart but it was definitely an improvement. If their recent happy bubble was any indication then it was positive that things would get better.

Angel kissed the top of her head when she slid off of him but immediately pressed herself against his body and yawned loudly. They settled comfortably in each other's arms and not long after they both fell asleep as the moonlight shone through the curtains, illuminating their bodies in the dark room.

Oooooooooooooo

His hand gripped tighter on her hip as he pulled her back against his chest, it took a moment to register that his phone was constantly ringing; which had woken him out of that peaceful sleep.

Angel scrunched his face, willing the incessant tone to stop but it didn't. Buffy kicked his shin and mumbled for him to answer the call as it had woke her up too and she wasn't one bit pleased about the intrusion of her slumber.

"Yeah, that's me?" immediately he pulled away from her body, allowing a draft to touch her naked skin. Buffy frowned and sat up, wondering what was going on. The frown on his face deepened and the harsh line of his jaw was relentless.

"What?!" he flew off the bed and reached for his jeans that were thrown into a bundle from last night, his free hand shaking from whatever he had been told "I'll be there as soon as I can…" he hung up and pulled the denim on hastily.

Buffy got out of bed and reached for her robe "What's wrong?!" she began to panic when he didn't answer; he just continued to get ready. In a matter of moments she reached him and cupped his chin so he could look at her "Angel?"

His dark eyes were full of apprehension, emotions running high within him; it was clear he was struggling to remain calm and not let the unshed tears fall "…There's been an accident"


End file.
